Too Vanilla For You

Ok, voting has officially ended, now that I decided to update the blog. We'll start in order from 5th place to 1st place.

5th place: photo 5
The anonymous "M. Cardinal" turned out to be none other than the Bike Gallery's very own Matt Cardinal. Check out the story on him on bikeportland.org. Also congratulate him because something exciting happened, but I'll let him tell you himself. 0 votes

4th place: photo 4
I guess I was wrong, I don't have the most ripped calves out of all my co-workers. 1 vote

3rd place: photo 2
Dean Tracy combines his incredible sprinting prowess with his incredible bone breaking prowess (rib, sternum, and what appears to be a broken ankle in the photo) to take home an honorable 3rd place, especially considering he was injured leading up to the competition. 4.5 votes (I split votes in half when it wasn't perfectly clear who the person voted for)

2nd place: photo 3
I think Slaven scared off some people with how disgusting his calf really was. I mean, the calf had a calf of it's own. That's weird. Nevertheless, he took home 4 full votes and two halfsies.

1st place: photo 1
I think a lot of people voted for Elizabeth's calves simply because she's a girl, but what they didn't know is that these are actually Ping Pong's calves. That's right, the slowest, most Asian of all my co-workers took home the prize with 5.5 votes. He swears he doesn't know who "fake girlfriend" is.

See? And you guys thought one vote wouldn't make a difference

Anonymous posted:

"Dear Sirs,
My name is Matt Cardinal. I believe for the most part this blog has been reporting a fair and balanced view of the subject matter. HOWEVER, I've always had a problem with the statement that Shannon has "the most ripped calves out of all my co-workers" I think this may be open for debate. (has anyone else SEEN Slavens?!!)While this may seem like a small, matter, I would say the opposite. It questions the very foundations of this blog and is a subject that should receive the appropriate attention.
Thank you and good day"

Since I've promised since the beginning to have a calf-tacular calf-athlon, here it finally is. In order to make it fair, the photos will be anonymous. Remember to consider definition, veininess, sexiness, smoothness, and overall aesthetics when voting. Post your vote in the comments section, and after a while I'll tally them up and let everybody know the results. Here we go:


Photo 1



Photo 2



Photo 3


Photo 4



And this time, don't let Ohio decide. Seriously.

EDIT:

We have an anonymous late entry. Let's call him M. Cardinal. Wait, that's too obvious. How about Matt C?

From Grimace:

To the Hamburglar:

http://www.printroom.com/ViewGalleryPhoto.asp?userid=oregonvelo&gallery_id=376509&image_id=57

That's what I'm talking about.

Yes, Ping Pong is old. And fat.

So what's up with all the sandbagging going on? Larsen in experts, Molly Cameron in pro women (though I guess she did finish last), Pete Zlatnik (remember the name!) in cat 5's at PIR. I haven't seen that many sandbags since the great flood of 1996.

Another year older, another year whiter.

Apparently spurred on by Pong's comments about underperformance from BG employees, somebody finally got it done. That's right, the Gallery's own Pete "Buy my Carbon wheels" Zlatnik took the big V (or is it W?) in last Tuesday's cat 4/5 world championship. Of course, everybody except OBRA knew he was sandbagging, but hey, he'll be in next week's 3/4 race trying to repeat his performance.

Check it out: Stephen Colbert is hilarious. It's even funnier when you remember that he's talking to an audience of all the senior press members and that Bush and his wife Laura are there.

http://www.outsidethebeltway.com/fotos/video/WH-Dinner-Colbert.wmv

Check out this funny ebay auction: Is it Ping Pong?

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=7239659006

Molly Cameron is threatening to out me on her site. Apparently I'm too "in" right now. Too Vanilla is the new pink.

Peace out.

This is Ping Pong posting again, mainly because apparently Skerritt's too busy burrito-ing to post, but also because I'm the only other one who knows his password to the blog. Anyway, thought I'd fill everybody in with the details of the weekend spent with my man-wife.

Saturday was spent getting to work early, then getting off work early. Slaven and I went to the movies to catch the matinee viewing of the new movie called "Stick it". Anyways, I was a little apprehensious about the movie while I was buying the ticket because I kept overhearing 13 year old girls also buying tickets to the movie. But after sitting through 2 hours of pure bliss, i can say with confidence that this is the best movie ever. Seriously. Go see it. It's rocks too hard for only one hand. Oh, and on a side note, Slaven's new nickname is Wei Wei.

Sunday was spent sucking it up at Bear Springs. Seriously, we sucked like a brand new Hoover. Slaven apparently imploded in the Elite race along with quite a few other people. I took my customary anonymous mid-pack finish in the single speed. I blew up about 10 miles to the finish, which was actually longer than I thought I was going to last because I thought we were at about mile 20 at one point and when I asked somebody with a computer how far we had left, he said we were only at mile 11. Ouch.

Then we drank some beer. We discussed how there are some stellar racers at the Hollywood bike gallery, but nobody's put it together for a great result yet. Everybody's always got some excuse. Solomon "worked too hard in the break", Dean's got "a broken rib and sternum", I'm "Asian". It's always something.

Then we went and visited my hot, hot (fake) girlfriend for more beer and food, went home, and passed out.

Oh yeah, we got our new kits to match our bikes. Look out for the brand new, purple-no-more, blackalicious bike gallery kits at the front and back of local weeknight races near you. No more Grimace for me.