Friday, May 19, 2006

Call to Calf-off

Anonymous posted:

"Dear Sirs,
My name is Matt Cardinal. I believe for the most part this blog has been reporting a fair and balanced view of the subject matter. HOWEVER, I've always had a problem with the statement that Shannon has "the most ripped calves out of all my co-workers" I think this may be open for debate. (has anyone else SEEN Slavens?!!)While this may seem like a small, matter, I would say the opposite. It questions the very foundations of this blog and is a subject that should receive the appropriate attention.
Thank you and good day"

Since I've promised since the beginning to have a calf-tacular calf-athlon, here it finally is. In order to make it fair, the photos will be anonymous. Remember to consider definition, veininess, sexiness, smoothness, and overall aesthetics when voting. Post your vote in the comments section, and after a while I'll tally them up and let everybody know the results. Here we go:

Photo 1

Photo 2

Photo 3

Photo 4

And this time, don't let Ohio decide. Seriously.


We have an anonymous late entry. Let's call him M. Cardinal. Wait, that's too obvious. How about Matt C?

I vote for photo 1. What the calf lacks in definition and veininess, it more than makes up for it with sexiness.
I, however, vot for calf number 2. I mean, that thing's good.
Number 3 has some crazy skeletor shit going on up in there.

Thats my pick.

Does the winner get to re-name the blog?

Does the loser get to be my employee?
nice one molly.
Whoa whoa whoa, molly. Watch the language. This is a family blog.
I have a few comment for all four contestants,
1) I am glad you guys are letting the women participate in this competition, way to go Elizabeth!
2) Number two, Hotttttt!
3) your calves kind of resemble a butt, I mean that in the nicest way possible.
4) Your ankles look very aerodynamic, those babies are built for speed. You must find it hard to balance on those things.

in conclusion I vote for number two, hotness always wins.
Hi there,
I'm Matt Cardinal. I am going to concede my calf to #3. I'll agree with Molly. It is an impressive set. Hmmm... maybe the Skerritt had a little too much kozy this winter, and not enough mozy, Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y'know?
#1 wins for smoothness. i'd rub that calf with some lotion.
i vote for number 6. posting a photo would be embarrassing to the other contestants.
I'd like to vote for my own lovely asian legs. #1!

(#5 is a close 2nd)
#1: best ankles.
#2: not bad, young fella. If I were you, I would try to get these guys to go double down on a thigh-off.
#3: Scary & intimidating. But do they go? Do they even bleed when damaged?
#4: My vote. Ripped but not yikes.
#5: I would take up horse riding.
You know how i know your gay, cause u look at mens calfs.......

I vote #1 for daintiness and most likely to be “accidentally” touched by strangers.

# 2 gets a shout-out for competing despite what looks like debilitating pigeon-toe. You get yours!

#3 wins for depth of soul. It’s a meta-calf, a calf within a calf, a postmodern calf that defies traditional calf-iness and asks, who am I? what is art, what is love, and why am I so angry?

#4 wins for aesthetic subtly. It says, “hey, I’m here, but it’s cool, it’s cool. Just me being pretty. No need to make a fuss about my beautiful calf.”

#5 wins for best anonymity. Whose are those non-descript legs?!?

In the end, I have to give it up for daintiness and inappropriate touching. Congrats to #1 and his sexy sexy calf!
Fake Girlfriend sounds hot.
3. those things are hella nuts.
4 is pretty close but has some weird bump and loses because it looks weird.
3 also has cooler socks

Toss up...

#3 or #4...

3 sort of gets it but its wrong, wrong i tell ya...

4 has more muscle and it looks more effective than those freaky bulging things on #3...

I'd anonymously submit mine (I like em) but i fear the forest of growth on them now would automatically eliminate them from competition...

try explaining to a 6 year old girl why Daddy is shaving his legs like Mommy...
I vote for #3. Although if Elizabeth's calves were up there I'd vote for hers. Peter also has something when he says "3 has better socks."

ps. Has anyone seen Matt Slaven's calves? Did they go missing or something?
i vote for the guy with the broken ankle... maybe number 2 can get some x-rays with his winnings
Calf 4 has GOT to be the fastest. And I know, I've drafted off those calves before. But, Calf 1 has that cute rugby playing rolley-poley frat boy look. If I were a sorority girl, I'd probably drain the boda bag w/ him at the barn dance. If I were to choose one for an action figure, I'd select Calf 3. If I were to choose one set of calves to be the bike gallery floor sweep boy, I'd vote for Calf 2. And as for the last one, the late entry... I dunno... what color sunglasses does he wear?
Callin' for Tonkins' lochness legs!

See how we burst from da wood work when skin is exposed......

#1, normal ham-hocks--easy viewing. I vote here.

#2, OK, yet can we get him a comp'd tanning session?

#3, ouch, it hurts to watch! nmbf/needs more body fat.

#4, holy cow, I see mary magdelines' face...or is it zig zags'??

#5, madam trudeau's wax museum samples--saved me a tix to London.

What did we learn? proper studio lighting is everything. Red shoes from Payless shoes loses points.

--thanks to all participants,as I love cheap thrills. pattiPreta
This IS a calf-off for "most ripped calves" It's not cool to vote for softest, or most likely to not get all goose bumpy when shaved. Ripped! People! Please!
Off the cuff, from months ago, I would like to claim my win with cliff schrader.....some date (on our bikes) or something--after revealing personal n' vulgar-less products found in our shower stalls (to Portlanders}.

When is he available (or married/ incarcerated by now?), & should I wear a red carnation in left jersey lapel, when we meet? Fill me in.

PS: I don't plan to chip in on premium petro for his race bmw'r, if our bikes are left home.

This has got to be the best post ever at the 'TVFY' blog. We got skin, naughty words and even some hooking up, where is the beer?
oh I forgot to vote...#3 for 'ripped' and #1 for fun!
#1: my advice, less nacho, more go-go
#2: lose the socks and you could be on to something. big but not scary, veiny but not vericose-ey. my vote.
#3: im not even mad, i'm impressed. that's some excellent photo-shop work, because that ain't right.
#4: oh so angular. you wear your heart on your lower legs
#5: you should flex next time
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