Too Vanilla For You

Here is my report for the Tour of Georgia this past week:

Tuesday, day 1: The first day was a flat day, good for the sprinters. I was feeling frisky so I went ballistic at PIR. I attacked as much as possible, but it seemed like every time I went it was a sprint lap which made it hard to stay away. Nevertheless, I was there to blow out my legs so I used the giv'er stick quite a bit. Lars Michaelsen from CSC won. I ended up 4th or 5th or something like that.

Wednesday, day 2: Another flat day. I was tired from last night's shenanigans, so I took it easy. I did the tour de coffee shops today with the Hopper...Belmont Stumptown, over to Tabor, over to Wholesome Blends, then to work. While I was diddling around in the city, some domestic rider was sticking it to all the Protour big guns, off on a solo break for 100 miles or so. Too bad he was brought back. The next Discovery rock star/American idol, Yaroslav Popovych, slipped off the front in the last kilometer to steal it from the sprinters.

Thursday, day 3: Ahh, the time trial. I avoid time trials almost as much as I avoid stage races, so this was a good day to rest. But for those of you who have ever taken a rest day during a stage race, you know that if you don't work the legs at all you'll get a bit blocked up for the next day. So I went out for a couple hours in the morning before work. Meanwhile, Landis smoked the 40k TT in 54 something, even with a bunch of climbing! Surprisingly, Danielson was right behind. He'll be good after a bit more experience. Maybe even good enough to not crash Leonard out at Cascade.

Friday, day four: The first "hilly" day although they've all been sort of hilly. This one, I guess, was a bit more mountainous, but a couple sprinters still made it to the finish. Fred Rodriguez finally took a win, while I took a day off to get ready for the next day...

Saturday, day five: Brasstown Bald, the queen stage. This is a monster of a climb, after a bunch of already hard stages. Also some pretty crappy weather to start with. I rode into work, and after a slow start, things started really bumping. Jason McCartney was the stud of the day again, and I must have worn out the reload button trying to keep up with the action going on towards the end of the day. We all thought Popovych was going to take it with 300 meters left, but both Danielson and Landis slipped by! Since my job was the early shift, I was worn out early, so while everyone else was still at work my wife came to get me and we rode home slow together.

Sunday, day six: Last day. Stage racing is really hard, and I've pretty much been tired since Tuesday. I thought about going mountain biking out at Syncline with Pongs and the Hopper, but I decided that enough of the week had been devoted to cycling, and I could take an easier route and be done earlier in the day. So I rode a few hours in the morning, it was beautiful weather, so I went just a bit past my three hour limit. I thought the last day of stage races were supposed to be easy. Not here, I drilled it a few times up some climbs, but there was only one King of the Mountain sprint. Then a couple finishing circuits in town, and I was done. That's all until next year. I'm tired.

Top 10 reasons to love chamois butter:

10. Not just for external use
9. Delicious
8. Nutritious
7. Anti-bacterial, anti-establishment
6. If Dean had been using it, he'd have slid right across the steering wheel rather than right into it
5. Did not cause George Hincapie's fork to break
4. Seriously
3. I use it
2. Feels good to the touch
1. Molly Cameron dot com said so

Peace out.

I thought I'd take the time to answer some questions asked by a fan in the previous comments section.

Anonymous said:

Dear Shannon,
I was wondering if you would mind answering a couple questions. First, what is like to have so many hot women want to get with you? Is it always a honey-fest after the races, like they show us in rap videos? (y'know, bootys shakin' and cars bouncin') Your blog does a great job at showing the gritty side of being a national caliber bicycle racer, but I am interested in the party side of racing bicycles. I am planning on buying a Trek Madone and maybe giving this racing thing a try so I can get with the honeys too.

Shannon responds (in the third person):

Honey does often follow after Shannon races. Believe it or not, honey appears before races too. Shannon especially likes it on some bread with peanut butter and a banana sliced on top. But not too much before a race, otherwise it might come back to haunt you when the race gets hard. He recommends that you try it.

Shannon's car does do a lot of bouncing. He thinks there might be something wrong with the suspension, but he's not willing to put a lot of money into a 91 Honda civic.

Shannon wholeheartedly recommends buying a Trek Madone. But remember, if you do it, do it right and get at least a Madone 5.9 SL with a gold King headset. Shannon can order one for you if he doesn't have the right size in stock.

Seriously though, bike racing is hard, and I do like to cut loose and party a bit after a tough race. Especially in the summer after a hot crit, I really enjoy a burger and a glass of beer.

...and vanilla-er than ever. Vanilla-ier? Vanillier? Milli Vanilli?

This is the latest new bike. It's a madone 5.9 SL. The "SL" stands for "Shannon". The "L" is a typo. It pedals fast and seems even smoother than last year's madone. I think it's due to the non-aero wheels versus the aeros that were on it last year. It's even Kinged out with a gold headset.

Let's see...I had a pretty good time with the last few races. I skipped the last Banana Belt, skipped Ice Breaker, skipped Piece of Cake. Next week I plan on skipping King's Valley, but maybe I just won't show up instead. I even plan on skipping some Tabor races this summer. But watch out at PIR, where I plan to dominate most (some) Tuesday nights, and where Ping Pong has announced he'll be making his long-awaited return to riding slower than anybody else in the A field. But he'll have a cooler bike.

Did I post on here that Boonen would win Flanders? If I didn't, I should have. He pretty much dominated the race, doing most of the work with Hoste in the break, then when Hoste jumped him with 400 m to go out of that last corner he just BRAAAAHPED it up to his wheel and came around him like me to Kozy Shack. Will he take Roubaix next weekend?

And while we're talking about who's winning races, Ping Pong and the BG's other stellar climber, Deaner, have agreed to go mano a mano at the Larch Mtn. TT. We're taking donations for prizes for the winner between the two. So far the pot is up to 2 snickers bars and a box of condoms.