Thursday, December 08, 2005

Ping Pong's Pre-race wrap-up


1. Page (sorry Trebon, he's really fast)
2. Trebon...I'll give you second
3. Wicks...and your teammate third
4-6. Too close to call
7. Tonkin
8 through 12. I don't know
13. Shannon
14 through mid-pack. Other racers
Mid-pack + 1. Tony Wilhelm, on a fixed gear
And the rest

Latest Shannon update: apparently Shannon somehow sprained his ankle running from the registration table before the race on Sunday (maybe trying to get away with an expired UCI license? He does that kind of stuff) but still finished 8th or something. He's also planning on racing the Master's race on Friday since he's old. But he may need a cane to get through it with his arthritic hips and sprained ankle. But I'll still predict a top 5 for him in that race.

That's pretty impressive, huh? 3 kona boys in the top 7, 4 Oregonians in the top 12. Maybe even 5 with Horner.

After the race, Shannon will have 1 glass (not pint) of beer and a hamburger, then it's time to start training for next year! Oh yeah, and back to work on Tuesday. A great reward for another great year.


Skerrit will be higher than 13th...

and i predict a pre-race fist fight between skerrit and tonkin.
yeah right, sprained ankle from the last fist fight...

One time i was racing shannon in a MTB race outside of portland. He and i were in the lead, and once we got out of sight and headed up this steep logging road, the guy just socked me right in the ribs and took off!

Watch out for shannon. If he uses his usual dirty tactics, i say top 10.

I forgot Craig and Decker. Sorry guys. You guys can have top-10 also, how's 3rd and 8th? I say arm-wrestle for my predictions placing (and race it out for the real placing). So that makes 7 out of the top 12 including Horner.

Yeah, one time Shannon yelled at me to attack during a race, so I did. He uses that intimidation factor pretty well.
I was pretty intimidated by Shannon at Barton Park, pre-race. Jees, cotton balls in his nostrils? That is SO euro pro. I haven't tried it, but was considering showing up to the start w/ Q-tips sticking out of my ears next season. If you get your ears really clean pre-race, you can actually breathe in extra oxygen.

What, you didn't KNOW that?

Good call getting Adam and Carl in there. Adam will tear it up, I swear. Carl on the other hand, may be still smarting from the b*itch slapping I doled out to him last weekend at Pringle Creek. Oh wait. That was grass in the drivetrain that did him in. Let's just pretend it was my quads, ok?

If Horner shows up HORNEY, LOOK OUT!!!!
If horner shows up I'm probably going to have to drive out to NJ, park on the course and give him a flying head-butt as he rides by on his carbon Scott.

Then I'm gonna find shannon and start spraying him with Stumptown ((probably the Ethiopia Kilimanjaro Blend) cooled of course, it's gonna be a long drive from Portland) cause that will get him all fired up and will help bring out the power animal.
How many massages does shannon get per week? I was getting massaged once by his masseuse lady and she was talking about him like he was some big honcho or something. For me, they're once in a blue moon. For shannon, they're like squares of tp. Ain't no big thing.

peace out, G.

S. Doo
Would that Q-tip trick really work to increase oxygen intake, or is it purely a psychological trick?

The Q-tip protocol:

The idea is that w/ the q-tips inserted, it blocks sound waves from getting to the ear drum, thus, a rider experiences impaired hearing. The thing is, the brain will acclimate to the reduction in hearing and INCREASE perceptive sensitivity. Upon removal of the q-tips, suddenly sound is perceptively amplified, thus giving the rider an advantage of hearing the starter say "go" and can begin to apply force to the pedals in a circular motion at a more rapid rate than his adjacent competitors.

What has not been determined in the research study, which will require a follow up (to happen upon grant funding), is whether the waxy substance that adheres to the q-tip cotton can be applied to the drive train, thus potentially rendering added mud shedding benefits.

Stay tuned for the results of that study.

Dr. T. Imewayster, PhD.
Oh yeah. Q-tips in the ears works big time. Not only do they help with oxygen transportation, but they also boost your sponsorships to a higher level.

You'll get a racing bicycle for sure!

Man, I can't seem to get any work done today... thinking about how well shannon's going to do at natz, plus, I keep hitting "play" on my little winamp movie console so that I can watch (when no co-workers are walking by) the last 12 minutes of the live coverage of the MILAN, ITALY CYCLOCROSS WORLD CUP #5 THAT I JUST DOWNLOADED FOR FREE!!!!! off of the internet.

Whatsa matta, baby? You don't have a copy to watch? Boo hoo.

I just keep watching it over, and over, and over, and over, and....
can't watch videos. Too busy doing calf workouts. Gotta get ready for the calf-athalon when Shannon gets back. that guy's fit, so im gonna have to be extra ripped to deal with both him and slaven... dang. .
Dean could probably carve a better racing bicycle with a chainsaw

Who needs a sponsor like Vanilla or Trek when you have a chainsaw?
Can you imagine if Tonkin had a blog? How funny would that be. Can you picture him, packing around a laptop, surfing from shi-shi coffee houses, typing about working "mad" hours in the shop, building tubular wheels, talking about taxes and whatnot? He could do an entry about leghair and match-less firebuilding techniques. There's gotta be some sweet blog material in there...

I want to know whatever happened to the good ol' yellow and maroon "good luck" hockey jersey. What about the time he was seen walking around before the rainy Sam Barlow CX circa '99, holding a coffee cup in one hand and a 2 liter of Mt. Dew under his other arm... Getting jacked up.

That guys' made for snowy east coast hard man crossin'... look out. That podium has his name on it.
Good luck tomorrow Shannon in the masters race.
Watch out for Horner, he can run a chainsaw. Maybe that guy knows where i can get a race bike.
Someone told me that Walker Star is a surprise guest in the calf-athalon competition. Maybe you should do a few more reps.

You should check out one of the Orbea bikes. Honestly, I could beat Dean all year long by just pedaling with my left ass cheek. Once he got off that P.O.S. Trek he was on and onto an Orbea ORCA. Now I can't touch him.

Cheers then,
Dave C.
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