Too Vanilla For You

Back from the dead

2007-05-11T20:22:00.000-07:00

Close to 5 months since the last post. Let's see...
My car won't pass DEQ, so I don't drive anymore.
Tony Blair retiring from being prime minister of UK.
Mikkel Bossen quits bike racing.
Trek adds another "S" to our bikes (now, the SSL).
And...Ping Pong goes to nationals? WTF? Apparently he's in Kansas this weekend for collegiate nationals. Prepare for some hurt.
More to come.

Peace, you bitches

I heart Youtube

2007-01-28T20:48:00.000-08:00

Click on this link:

Cats are hilarious!

It's really funny.

Oh, in other news, I got a new mountain bike. Pictures will be up soon. Got rid of the 29er, I'm going "old school" this year (is that what the kids call it?) with 26 inch wheels, flat bar, rigid fork, and the longest, flattest stem I could find.

Oh yeah, Jonathan Page got 2nd in some big bike race over in Europe. That's pretty cool. Good job, along with Rhonda, Erik, and the twin towers.

Peace out.

SS

Even the pros stack it

2007-01-22T23:30:00.000-08:00

Invisibility

2007-01-22T08:37:00.000-08:00

See how that cat's riding an invisible bike? Well, I've been writing invisible blog posts. And apparently getting lots of invisible blog readers.

Anyhow, on to more important things, like riding: I've been riding my car into work, riding the weight machines at the gym, riding the couch in front of the TV. In between all that, I have found some time to ride my bike. Yesterday, I rode with the 2 Portland pros, along with some elite amateurs, and one or two cat. 3s. Since this time of year, I really like to do some long 3 hr rides, a couple of guys ended up being intimidated by the distance and turned off early to take the long way home.

Also, on Tuesday, I did a nice long snow ride with Slaven. He's training to do his longest ride ever. An official announcement is coming later.

Countdown to Lost: 2 more weeks? Something like that.

Peace out.

Shannon

100th post

2006-12-30T15:50:00.000-08:00

So this isn't what Ping Pong and I originally planned, but I figured it was good enough to warrant the 100th post. Some of you guys might have seen it already, but it's hilarious. And I'll update more.

We'll still do what we had planned, but it was probably time to start blogging again.

Peace out.

Shannon

99th post

2006-11-16T18:38:00.000-08:00

Whoa, two posts in one day. That must be a new record. But yes, here is the interview with the third half of team Vanilla Bicycles. I don't understand why Hulick doesn't have a blog, but maybe this will give you some insight behind the man behind the bikes behind the...alien...what? Anyway, read on to find out how Kevin got the nickname "Husky", whether he or Shannon eats more burritos, and what's up with his intense hatred of Kozy Shack.

Too Vanilla For You: Please tell us your name, height, weight, and racial ethnicity.

Kevin: Kevin Bruce Hulick, 5'10", 170lbs this morning, white boy.

TVFY: 170? Really? Has anybody ever called you husky?

Kevin: Yes. Yes! No, thanks though. You’re just jealous because I got back. It’s so big and round, it’s like out there.

TVFY: How long have you been racing bikes? Racing cross?

Kevin: I did my first race when I was 17, it was mountain bike race. SoI guess that makes 16 years of racing. I did a cross race when I was 18, then a couple more cross races in my early to mid 20's. I didn't really get into cross until I moved to Oregon 6 years ago. After myfirst couple Cross Crusade races I was hooked on it.

TVFY: Do you have a real job? How much time does that take out of training time?

Kevin: Yes, I'm a mechanical engineer. I sit in front of a computer, draw pictures, email people, and check TVFY to see if it's been updated with any new Scary ramblings. I work 40+ hours a week, so that limits my riding time a bit. I still get out and ride enough.

TVFY: You won the cross crusade series in the A category last year. What kind of advice would you give to people who want to do the same thing?

Kevin: There is the usual advice like ride your bike a lot, drink lots of coffee before the race, buy a Vanilla, but the thing that helped me out the most last year was getting a proper bike fit. My friend, Timmy Evans, who works for Rebound Sports in Bend, fit me a month before cross season last year. He raised my saddle over an inch, and next thing I know, I have my name on a trophy. When Sacha fit me for my Vanilla this year, he put my saddle in the pretty much the same spot. Oh, my final
piece of advice is to have promoters schedule the last double point race on the same day a big national race (ie USGP finals in SF). That way all the crazy fast guys (Tonkin, Scary, Decker, Molly) will be gone, leaving the series win open for the mortals.

TVFY: Do you like burritos? What kind?

Kevin: I think my love of burritos borders on the "interesting". There has been many day's where I have eaten burritos for every meal. I usually get something without meat, because the meat from some places makes me a bit nervous. Plus, veggie burritos are cheaper, leaving me more money to spend on bike bits.

TVFY: I approve. What is it about wrapping something in a flour tortilla that makes it so delicious? Are you also on the Kozy Shack program?

Kevin: No. A previous roommate of mine, a freakishly fast, tall and long limbed farmer of trees, used to buy it on occasion. I tried some of his once, it’s was ok.

TVFY: I hear your apartment is pretty pimped out. Tell us about it.

Kevin: My Vanilla is pimped out; I don't think my apartment pimped out. It's a nice, little place in a sweet location, about 1 minute from Forest Park trails, with a view of the NW Industrialness. It does have a ping pong table in the basement, which could be used for some great winter training / entertainment. Can Ping Pong play ping pong?

TVFY: Hey, I'm asking the questions here. But to answer, yes, Ping Pong plays ping pong, better than he races bikes anyways. Ping pong is the sport of Ping Pong's people. Surprisingly, Slaven can play ping pong too. Do you have any other hobbies besides bike racing?

Kevin: That’s not saying much about Ping Pong’s ping pong prowess. Sorry, but that’s pay back for the “husky” comment. Sometime this winter we should have a TVFY Invitational Ping Pong Tournament. I’ll bet we can find a few more people to make it interesting. Maybe Shannon can put up a TVFY T-shirt and a tub of Kozy Shack for the winner, which will be me of course. As far as hobbies go, last year I started tele-skiing. It was hard on the ego to pick up a completely new, difficult sport and really suck at it, but I think it was a good character builder, and it is a lot of fun.

TVFY: Do you do any other types of racing? Or do you pretty much just
show up for cross?

Kevin: I do other types of races, just not all that often anymore. Road racing reminds me too much of driving in traffic. Brake, accelerate, accelerate, brake. I get stressed, start yelling, giving people the finger, etc. it's not a pretty picture. That being said, there are some great road races in Oregon, especially the stage races, I'd like to do Mt Hood again. That last stage there is epic. Mountain is my favorite type of riding. I'll probably still do a few cross country mtb races here and there next year, but now I'm more into doing big rides on fun trails and the occasional 100 mile race, I'm thinking about doing the Cream Puff again next year, and maybe a couple of others.

TVFY: Tubies or clinchers?

Kevin: Tubies for racing, clinchers for training. The plush ride of tubulars is so nice, plus my Vanilla looks way cool with Zipps on it, and that's really what it's all about. Next year I would like try a set of Stan's tubeless wheels. The tubeless has worked great on my mountain bike.

TVFY: Espresso or coffee?

Kevin: Yes please. Coffee, it's cheaper and easier to make in large quantities at home. I usually get espresso or an Americano when I out. I always get espresso when I'm with Sacha because that is what he gets, and I want him to think I'm like cool and stuff. Oh and I only drink Stumptown, because it's the best, and Hammer works there.

TVFY: Ipod or ipod nano?

Kevin: I have an Ipod, an older style 40 GB. Last week I took my girlfriends 20 GB Ipod apart because it wasn't working. Once apart, it started working, so opening and it up apparently fixed it...for now. So the lesson of the day is: If you have problems with your Ipod and it's out of warrantee, take it apart and fix it. It's pretty easy to open it up and replace the hard drive, battery, etc., and way cheaper than buyer a new one. That way you have more money to spend on burritos, espresso
and pimpin' your Vanilla.

Ok, that's it. Don't forget to scroll down and read the 98th post. Stay tuned for the 100th post, we've got something cool planned.

Peace out.

Ping Pong

98th post

2006-11-16T16:45:00.000-08:00

Nearing the hundred mark. Last weekend didn't go as planned. At least it didn't go according to my plan. I'm sure Decker planned on winning. Not 20 seconds into the race, I had some bad luck that put me probably 20 riders back. I spent the next few laps working my way back up, but by the time I caught Tonkin, Decker was long gone. Hopefully I got the bad luck out of my system for this weekend.

I'm thinking about doing 3 races this weekend: the elite race and master's race up in Seattle, then Hillsboro here on Sunday. That's a lot of givin'er though. We'll see.

So what's been up with the weather? It was finally nice today. I went for a 2 week stretch without riding my bike outside. In fact, the other day, I actually had to do a bike change in the middle of my trainer ride. Somehow I snapped my saddle in half while riding indoors. Can you believe that?

I'll have to think of something clever to do for the hundredth post. Ping Pong promised to post an interview with Mr. Too Burrito For You himself, Kevin Hulick, so I guess that will be number 99. How about something like a mustache-off?

Peace out.

Shannon

State Championships

2006-11-11T10:26:00.000-08:00

So tomorrow's the deal maker or deal breaker. If I win, I win the overall. If Decker wins, he wins the overall. If I get second and Decker gets 3rd, I win the overall. If Decker gets 2nd and I get 3rd he wins. But if I get 3rd and Decker gets 4th, he wins. Ya follow?

I need to summon the eye of the donkey to slay the Panda. Hopefully he'll wear his Panda suit, it seemed to slow him down.

I hope tomorrow doesn't last as long as last Sunday did. Last week I got to the race around 10:30 or 11, got home, sprayed down 3 bikes, all the shoes, all the clothes, and by that time it was about 7:30. I ate a little, watched a little TV, then went downstairs to finish up the drying and the lubing of the bikes. So by that time it was about 8, and I'm downstairs, and all of a sudden I hear a waterfall against the window. Turns out the gutters are clogged, so there I am at 8 at night, after a long day of racing, on the roof, fisting the downspout of my gutters. Then I had to do it again on monday.

So what is up with Lost? Taking a break until February 2007? They film in Hawaii, is it really that hard to work a little more? I work in Portland, where it rains an inch a day, and I still have to go to work. I have to know what happens to Jack and Sawyer and Kate and Henry.

Ok, so predictions for tomorrow:

1. Decker does not wear a panda suit
2. Neither does Tonkin
3. Can Solomon finish it off in the single speed category? Was that a prediction?
4. Too Vanilla for you reaches landmark 100th post after 3 more posts.

Peace out.

Shannon

Finally...

2006-11-02T12:44:00.000-08:00

updating my blog. Oh yeah, and finally won a race too. What took me so long? Seriously. I guess I have two race updates to do. Here we go.

Horning's hideout-
Stupid Decker. 2nd place.

Flying M Ranch-
Stupid drunk people, 1st place.

So pomegranates are back in season. I like to sit down with one every Wednesday to watch Lost. That way I can keep myself entertained during the commercials. I also like to act out any action scenes by using pomegranate juice as fake blood, if necessary.

Apparently cross nationals is on record pace for their registration. I heard something like 600 people signed up in the first 10 minutes. I hope they're not all doing the elite race! Although I should get a callup, either based on my win last year or hopefully with some points from USGP, or maybe I'll just show the officials my blog and they'll all be wowed.

Next time you don't get your way at the callup try using this line: "Do you know who I am?" It always works. Trust me.

And for my weekly installment of picture stolen from bikeportland.org, here's a picture of my new teammate Elliot's special friend.

Unbloggable

2006-10-20T10:37:00.001-07:00

So I haven't been doing too much blogging lately. But I've had a bunch of other stuff going on. Like watching Lost. Did anybody see it this past Wednesday? Now normally I don't watch any more than 4, maybe 5 hours of TV a day. But come Wednesday night at 9, even if I've hit my 5 hours, I'll make an exception. That show's just good.

Did anybody notice that the Vanilla crew was rocking some new duds this past weekend? The clothes aren't too different, a little more blue, but the big change is that our latest sponsor is all over it. That's right, constantly plugging Stumptown coffee on this blog has finally paid off big. I now ride for Team Vanilla-Bicycles-presented-by-Stumptown-coffee-racing-on-Zipp-wheels-dot-portland'swaybetterthantheeastcoast-dot-ilikecats-dot-com. Is there some sort of blingiest race team award? Or team with most blogger's award?

The milk's still been a little sour. At last weekend's I had two super fast laps, but unfortunately they were preceded by 7 slow ones including a flat tire and a sweet 180 coming down the little hill towards the pits where I somehow ended up stopped and watching the top 5 riding towards me and then past me. On the plus side I did have my own umbrella girl at the start, I mean umbrella drunk. He was less sober than anybody else, except maybe Brad Ross.

stolen from bikeportland.org

See ya at the races

Sometimes you get the milk for free...

2006-10-14T10:13:00.000-07:00

and sometimes the cow gets you.

These past couple weeks of racing, you could say that I've tried to milk the cow's teat, but the milk has come out all sour and maybe even yellow. At Alpenrose I got a good gap out of the gates, but coming into the run up I slid out and jabbed my left foot into the ground. For a minute I thought I broke my foot, but it turns out I just sprained it badly. Then I rode around for awhile.

Then at Gloucester I got a crappy start position (don't they do call-ups according to how nice your bike is? I would win) and had a hard time making up ground on a super-fast, not-super-techy course with a gimpy ankle. Sunday was the same story, battling it out for a crappy result, so I pulled the plug.

Hey, but on the plus side I diverted a complete catastrophe. I forgot that I had left a complete tub of Kozy Shack in the fridge at the bed and breakfast we stayed at. On Sunday I packed up the car, went to the race course, forgetting all about the Shack. Luckily somebody at the race mentioned it, and as a warm-up I hightailed it back to the inn, got the kozy shack, and made it back in time to start the race.

You know what's pro? Chris Horner did Gloucester last weekend, then flew back to Europe to do Tour of Lombardy today. You know what's not so pro? My A bike, zipp carbons, and bontrager race-x-lites are still in transit from the east coast. So this weekend I'll have to use my B bike (Dura-Ace 9 speed? Please) and my old carbon bontragers.

Twin Timbers

2006-10-04T15:24:00.000-07:00

I stole this off somebody's blog.

And yes, Skerritt does love Slaven, but it's a fine platonic man love, sort of like what Wicks and Trebon have going.

1st race

2006-09-27T17:06:00.000-07:00

So you know when you're racing, there's always a couple people that you judge yourself against. You're always duking it out with each other, sometimes you'll win, sometimes they'll win, kind of like Ping Pong and the second to last place finisher. Well, last winter I showed that I was faster than every male aged 35-39 in the US. But for me, I can never quite catch up to Seattle.

I've duked it out with Seattle many times now, and Seattle always comes out on top. That's right, I've never won a Seattle race. I thought this past Sunday would be my chance, but excuses excuses excuses, yada yada yada, I couldn't pull off the W. Seriously though, it's a bummer when you pull a cat. 5 move and can't clip into your pedal after a remount, and it sucks even more when you get outsprinted because of it. Oh well.

This weekend is Star crossed and then Alpenrose. I think the racing will be good because word on the street is there are new fast guys in town. I hope they bring their A game. I think I'll use my B bike. C ya there. That was lame. The other word on the street is that Tonkin busted out his fixed gear road bike and did the single speed race. Maybe I should do that, and see if I can win a Vanilla frame for the single speed series.

Peace out.

Shannon

Responses

2006-09-22T14:54:00.000-07:00

Wicknasty wrote:
how you you last so long in the sack?

Get yourself a spellchecker. And I hope you're not referring to the times that we had to share a bed. I think I was so traumatized by the experiences that I just passed out and woke up 10 hours later. Is that what you mean?

Chigger Mcnuggets wrote:
What about cross bike #4?
It's for sale at sellwood cycle.

Will it have carbon fiber derailleur pulley bearings? What about sparkle bar tape wrap?
No. No.

And what's with grifo 32's being 470 grams while tufo flexus 32's are only 310 grams. Why go grifo then? Shit, the grifo's are heavier than stans'ed up michi muds!
That's why you offset the extra weight with the second set of carbon wheels.

Also, where the heck is Hulick???
I don't know. I wonder what Hulick's doing now?

g wrote:
what?

no mention of Kozy Shack?

WTF?

ain't that the secret to being fast?

is it supposed to be eaten the night before or the day of?

go over that again...

Ok, so Kozy Shack is good, and I eat a lot of it, but let's be serious. It's pretty much empty calories, and it's so addicting that you really have to limit your intake. I try to only eat one tub at a time. 22 ounces of goodness. Ping Pong thought it would be good race food so he tried it once a couple hours before a race. It turns out that he's slightly lactose intolerant, so be careful.

and so what? you too sissy to try out Providence this year again? Ya think Kansas City will be a warmer venue in the middle of December?

Nah, I'll be going out to the east coast twice this year. Once for Gloucester, then again for nationals. I might do a couple races in RI before nationals, so that trip might be a little longer.

The other third of team Vanilla is out at the Michigan UCI races this weekend chasing the UCI points. I'll be chasing Slaven around Hood River this weekend, or maybe just my cats around the house because I've got a bad head cold.

Peace out.

cross clinic questions

2006-09-15T15:14:00.000-07:00

So I've been teaching these cross clinics out at Alpenrose for a few years now. There's a lot of beginners out there, a lot of them have never raced cross or raced bikes at all. I thought I'd post some of the more common questions that I get and some of the answers. Hopefully this will be helpful even to the more experienced riders out there. If anybody has anymore questions feel free to ask them in the comments section, and I'll do my best to answer them.

1. How do you dismount?
Swing your right leg over your rear wheel. Some people like to put their right leg between the frame and their left leg, then unclip their left leg. This allows you to start off with a full running step. I just swing my right leg over the wheel and kind of use the momentum to unclip my left foot. This means you start out with a "half step"...so be careful. Practice it so you get your timing down so you don't have to slow too much going into a barrier.

2. How do you remount?
The best way to practice is to start slow. Take long, walking strides next to the bike, then swing your right leg over and "walk" onto the bike seat. You shouldn't have any stutter step when you're walking, and as you get faster and faster make sure the stutter step doesn't make an appearance. Otherwise, go back to practicing slowly. You don't so much jump onto the bike (this can be dangerous, for obvious reasons). Instead, when you're going fast, imagine how it feels when you're practicing slowly. There's not a violent impact between you and the seat. That's how it should feel when you're going fast, too.

3. What's a good training plan?
Well, there's a few schools of thought. You can do like Tonkin does and ride your bike as much as humanly possible. I'm talking every waking hour when you're not at work. This works well if you work 60 hrs/week like he does, but plan on giving up a social life. It does help if you eat butter.

I try to ride less, but skip the butter. My goal is to ride as little as possible but still be able to win races. You'll have to experiment a little, because that amount of riding varies from person to person. I've pretty much settled in on commuting to and from work.

4. What should I eat before/during/after a race?
Well, cross races are so short, especially for the beginner categories, that there's not much use taking food or drink with you. That's why prerace nutrition is so important. Here's what I do: warmup well, and during the 30 minutes up to the race I like to have a quad-espresso, a coke, and 2 or 3 gels. After the race, I like to have a nice burger from burgerville. I might have a burrito and a snickers bar after that. On non race-days, I like to eat anything that gets in my way. Don't forget to drink water!

5. How can I/how did you get on Team Vanilla?
It helps if you need a couple bikes. Plan on looking good in baby blue. Do you have a long sleeve skinsuit? I didn't have one, and Sacha had some, so I think that's why I got on the team.

6. Are tubies really worth the hassle?
Well, I'd say that for some courses absolutely, and dry fast courses not as much, but keep in mind that you can get the most performance advantage out of a set of carbon wheels AND tubulars. Make sure you get a set for you backup bike, too. Last year I only had one set, then a set of clinchers on my B bike, but it looks like this year both my A and B bikes will have carbon tubies, and the clinchers will be relegated to my C bike.

7. How do I get really fast? I mean REALLY fast?
I can't give away all my secrets, but it does help to have prior experience at the elite level in other sports. Try this: get really good at snowboarding, then really fast at mtn. biking, then really fast at road racing, then try your first cross race. If you're like me, that will lead to a 7th place finish at your first cross crusade in the A category. From there, once you improve your skills a little and get comfortable in the races, the wins are right around the corner!

Ok, hope this helped.

Peace out.

Shannon

Shannon responds to reader's question...

2006-09-06T11:14:00.000-07:00

...and decides to refer to himself in the third person in the title.

Dirt Doll posted:

dear shammy,
let's talk about this other social phenomenon called,
"women competitors getting less prize money than men competitors who race the same course for the same amount of time, paying the same entry fee". More pressing than global warming, I swear......

Interesting...Shannon hasn't thought about it too much (I mean, I haven't thought about it too much), because even though I have a woman's name, I am not a woman. No, I am the MEN'S 2005 35-39 US National Cyclocross Champion, not the WOMEN'S 2005 35-39 US National Cyclocross Champion. And you know what I got for winning that race? A jersey and a medal. Not much payout there.

But seriously, who here has ever promoted a race? I haven't, so what I'm about to say is mostly speculation. I think that for the most part, promoters are not making much money on races. After all the fees for closing/using public roads and parks, paying for repairs to parks after the race, paying for equipment, getting people to direct traffic, making sure there's enough beer for Dean, etc, I bet that many times promoters are paying money out of their pocket to cover some of the costs of putting on a race. I think that a lot of times the prize money is coming from entrance fees. That's why a lot of times you'll see on a race flyer "100% payout" or something like that, meaning if 100 racers show up at $20 each, the purse will be $2000.

Following that logic, it would make sense for Women's categories to have smaller purses than men's categories. There's no doubt that there are fewer women racing than men. But it's the whole chicken and the egg thing: are there fewer women because the purses are small? Or are the purses small because there are fewer women?

Let's not forget that it's often true that one purse is subsidized by another category's entry fees. Meaning the A category always has the largest purse but is rarely the largest category. And also let's keep in mind that at the races we do (especially cross races), few people are actually doing the races to win money. Look at Ping Pong. What are his chances of ever winning money in a race? Less than zero. I don't think I've even seen him finish a race before. But week after week, he keeps skipping every race, complaining about his sore throat or that the purse isn't big enough or...wait, bad example. But the majority of people racing have no chance of ever winning, so why are they going out there?

To be continued, after I think about this some more...

you know it

2006-09-01T15:43:00.000-07:00

Buy my bikes.

I've got my Waterford cross bike for sale, check it out at www.sellwoodcycle.com, and I've also got my Fisher 29er for sale. I'll throw in an autographed (empty) tub of Kozy Shack for anybody that buys a bike.

In other news, for you conspiracy theorists out there, did you hear about the youtube video that parodied Al Gore in "An Inconvenient Truth"? Yeah, apparently a couple dudes out there made a video making fun of Al Gore, and when they traced it to the original posters, it turned out that Exxon Mobil actually put out the video. Now it's been pulled and the video is nowhere to be found.

Seriously, buy my bikes. That will help me fund my cross season, and for those of you that asked, I'll probably make it back out to the east coast this season, but only for the Gloucester races. Other than that, I plan on rocking my Vanillas on the Friday morning Saltzman sprint series. I'll have Ping Pong pit for me halfway up the climb in case I need my spare bike.

Here's my pre-preseason cross picks:
Todd Wells will ride fast.
So will Treboner.
And that other tall guy, Wicknasty.
And that hairy guy, with the brown cut-off skinsuit. He'll really be Tonking this year.
Watch for Matthew "AC 'Broken legs' Slater" Slaven riding gears in the A's this year.
Watch for Ping Pong to attack out of the back of the single speeds.
I'll be trying to drink as much coffee as possible.

Peace out.

(buy my bikes)

Cross season

2006-08-22T18:18:00.000-07:00

We're getting close to cross season, which means we're also coming up to the one year anniversary for Too Vanilla For You. In the first year, the blog's gotten a lot of stuff accomplished, including:

1) A limited edition line of T-shirts
2) many converts to Kozy Shack usage
3) spread of anti-Walmart sentiment (did you see how Walmart was just denied a spot outside of Beaverton for development? Yeah, that was because of the blog).
4) from what I see, the internet's only live update from the master's 34-39 national cross championship race
and,
5) repopularization of the term "peace out"

Here's the blog's next mission: go see the movies "An Inconvenient Truth" and "Who Killed the Electric Car?". Nobody has to agree with me, or agree with the movie, but that's not the point. As my favorite economic and political philosopher, Friedrich Hayek, would point out, people make decisions with the information they have. While it's always impossible to get all the information you need to make the "right" decision, more information can't hurt, right? And both of these movies will hopefully make everybody out there more aware of the situations regarding cars, gas, oil companies, big corporations, and global warming.

Should I be able to tell you what car to drive? No? Than why should a small group of people in Detroit and another small group of people in California get to decide for you?

Peace out.

Shannon

Post race re-preview

2006-08-15T10:00:00.000-07:00

Another weekend of racing down. The racing went exactly like I didn't want it to. Friday night I was hoping to go big, but it was hard to go against the Healthnet juggernaut without the help from other locals and without Ping Pong to attack off the back. I got stuck trying to attack or bridge solo too many times, and ended up only taking a few primes.

Saturday's race wasn't so good either. I raced to the coffee pot when I got into work, only to find myself battling it out for the scraps. I don't know if I wasn't warmed up or if I was still tired from Friday night, but normally I can smell the coffee before it even goes in the grinder. That morning I had some trouble and ended up with some coffee that had been sitting around for awhile.

By Sunday I was getting a little tired. I normally love going to Gresham (I try to make it out there at least once a week, maybe for some Starbucks or dinner at Applebee's) but this race kind may have changed my view just a little. It's tough racing Friday night with lights, a live band, and thousands of spectators, and then going to racing around a course with some dude mowing his lawn two days later. Then I crashed, crunched my helment, may have sprained my wrist or broken a finger or something.

Last night was the short track finale. I was really sore from the crash on Sunday, so I rode out there just to feel things out. I decided to do just enough to hold onto my overall series lead, which meant cheering from the sidelines and climbing onto the podium after the race. I think Slaven finally got his big W after everybody else in the Pro/Elite field dropped out. But if you think that's the only way he can win, you should know that he also took the state Super-D championship this saturday, as well as the Willamette Blvd. sprint against Ping Pong on Sunday.

Peace out.

Racin'

2006-08-08T09:45:00.000-07:00

More short track last night. Once again duked it out with Molly and Slater for the first few laps, with Molly taking second and Slater coming in third. Through the tight trees I almost stacked it right in front of the hecklers while leading it, but luckily I pulled through and redeemed myself with the win.

Coming up this week...Friday's downtown crit, then the short track finale then state championships, then some cross races and then nationals. Maybe I'll bust out the stars and bars.

Gotta go Kozy up.

Peace out.

Shack attack

2006-08-01T14:48:00.003-07:00

Kozy shack's on sale 2 for $5 at Safeway.

In other news, it was another good time at the short track last night. Duked it out with Slaven, some kiwi, and Molly for awhile, then Slaven tailed off (something about too many broken legs in one summer) and I took it over Molly and Tuckerman. And Ping Pong's crank fell off. Again.

And check out my race report from the Vancouver crit over on Dean's blog. I, um, wrote it from Dean's perspective and then posted it on his blog, but it's so detailed that there's things I don't even remember happening. Anyway, if you want to know how it went down, check it out voodoomadness.blogspot.com

Peace out

Bad day

2006-07-27T14:01:00.000-07:00

Another bad day for cycling as one of it's top riders once again tested positive. That's right, this morning it was announced that I was caught with too much Kozy Shack in my blood. Or, really, too much Kozy shack in my mouth.

Seriously though, does something seem wrong with this process? Isn't the testing process supposed to eliminate bias and shield the rider from fallout from false positives? Isn't (or shouldn't?) the rider supposed to remain anonymous until after the B-sample so that if it was a false positive there's no repercussions for the rider. These days somebody from the supposedly "independent" labs always leak the news that a rider has tested positive, and before you know it there's irreparable harm done to the rider's reputation. Even IF the B test proves otherwise, people will always assume that I'm a Kozy Shack addict, always high on rice, can't control myself around the Shack smack. I mean...Floyd...Kozy...nevermind.

2 funny stories

2006-07-19T17:20:00.000-07:00

So last week I'm getting ready to close the store, it's 7:45, I've got the bikes inside, the window gates closed, and somebody from Vancouver calls and asks what time we close. I tell him 8. Then he asks the price on something, I tell him, and he says "ok, I'm coming in to check it out". I said "sooo...you've got 15 minutes to make it in". He gave me the ol' "what the hell" comments and I was about ready to write it off as another crazy Vancouver-ite when I looked at a clock and noticed that it was actually only 6:45.

Oops.

You see, my watch is one of those fancy un-digital ones, and to make matters worse, there's no numbers on it, only hash-marks where the numbers should go. How is anybody supposed to tell time with something like that?

The second funny story actually happened to Ping Pong. So he was riding his mountain bike around town the other day when he kept hearing this "tick...tick... tick" sound. He's thinking he should check to make sure his crank arms are tight when the left one falls off.

Morals: Don't ask me what time it is, and don't let Ping Pong work on your bike. He's only good for cleaning.

80th update

2006-07-12T15:10:00.000-07:00

I'm never letting Mr. Pong update my blog again. This was his shining chance to step up to the plate while I was gone, show everybody that he can blog well, and that's what he gave us? We went from the shining moment of the blog, the calf-off, to a picture of a chubby asian kid in 5 posts. That's shameful. So let me apologize to everyone who had to read that. Plus he sucked it up big time at the short track on Monday. And I mean really sucked it up.

Slaven apparently had some bad luck too. He didn't finish off so hot, and spent the whole next day at work muttering something about "being elbowed by a tree" or something like that. I don't know.

Italy was good. It was hot. So hot that a few times I pressed myself up against a rock cliff to try to find some shade, and to try to get cool. Who here likes prosciutto? and white wine? Those are similar to what you Americans call "bacon" and "grape juice with alcohol", except italy-er. The world cup was pretty insane too. Walls of screaming Italian fans on the streets in Rome. If Ping Pong doesn't do better next Monday I'm going to try that Zidane head-butt move on him.

Diet update

2006-07-02T19:38:00.000-07:00

So today was the Tabor circuit race, I tried to top myself off with a bunch of water and food, and I left my house at 158 lbs. I proceeded to enter Tabor, drop out, then ride for a couple hours. When I got home I was a mere 152 lbs! Beat that, Atkins diet! A couple more days like that and I can start eating again.

But seriously, I drank 4 bottles of water over 3.5 hrs of ride time, and still lost 6 lbs. WTF? Was it really that hot today? Got home feeling a little woozy, have been drinking water ever since, and I was finally (4 hrs later) able to pee. That can't be good.

Shannon's coming back on Thursday.

Peace out,

Ping Pong

Pongin'

2006-06-27T21:23:00.000-07:00

I'm on a new diet, it's the Solomon Woras plan. Check it out: got back from PIR tonight, drank a protein shake, ate half a bag of popcorn, and now it's 9:20 and I'm about to go to bed. Except Solomon would probably have skipped the protein shake. Pretty soon, instead of being fat and slow, I will be skinny and slow. When's Shannon coming back? In his absence, I've had to find somebody else to emulate, and Solomon's lack of eating isn't nearly as fun as Shannon's near constant inhalation of calories.

Here's my before pic:

Check back in a couple weeks for my after pic.

Peace out.
P2

Pingin'

2006-06-22T13:36:00.000-07:00

As a member of the Bike Gallery-Trek/VW presented by Too Vanilla for You team, I've got access to a few performance enhancing "supplements". For example, yesterday Shannon gave me part of his burrito, and then I drank some Stumptown coffee at the shop before going to the Tabor race. I also got a chance to try out a sample of this stuff called Sportlegs. Anybody used this? Supposedly it creates lactic acid in your muscles before you begin to exercise, tricking your body into thinking it doesn't need to produce any more. I was cramping from the first lap, but still almost made it a personal record number of laps (8!) before I dropped out. So I thought it worked pretty well. But then Slaven suggested that Sportlegs might help you skip straight over the leg burning feeling and go straight to the leg cramp stage. That would be not so good.

Anyhow, somebody won the race and somebody finished second. I don't know. You can read about it. In a book.

I also raced PIR on tuesday where I managed to drop one of Dean's teammates out of the break. WTF? I thought they were supposed to be good. But there I was, givin'er in the break, and when I pull off he can't even come through. I guess maybe it was my fault. Maybe you're not supposed to pull off when you're in the middle of the break and you can't hold the wheel in front of you. I guess maybe wait until you're not screwing anybody but yourself. But seriously,if you read this, thanks for not beating me up after the race.

Oh, and per our agreement, I have to trash talk both Molly and Dean. Molly, you're so slow that I could outsprint you. And Dean, you're so slow that Molly could outsprint you.

I'm going to start signing off with my J. Lo name.

Peace out.

E. Ts.

Leavin'

2006-06-17T12:02:00.000-07:00

Next week, I'll be defending my Tabor crown by hopping on a plane to Italy for a week of riding and cappuccino. Ping Pong will once again take over the blog while I'm gone. Please direct your complaints toward him.

While I'm gone, Team Bike Gallery-Trek/Volkswagen presented by Kozy Shack will be represented by Corey "should have won the calf-off" Stayton, David "too hairy for you" Garcia, and Yann "my bike is more Discovery Channel than yours" Blindert. Ping Pong will be looking to improve on his 36th placed DNF. Dean Tracy will be looking to show up. And Solomon will be trying to grow a mustache.

Tuscany:

Salami:

Hilarious:

Peace out. I mean ciao. I mean chow.

Slaven's New Buddy

2006-06-06T15:32:00.000-07:00

Check out what happens when you giv'er too hard:

Let this be a lesson to all of you out there. Don't break your leg in two places, ride 10 miles out of the trail, then ride around for a few days and walk around at work before going to the hospital.

Calf-off results

2006-05-31T12:33:00.000-07:00

Ok, voting has officially ended, now that I decided to update the blog. We'll start in order from 5th place to 1st place.

5th place: photo 5
The anonymous "M. Cardinal" turned out to be none other than the Bike Gallery's very own Matt Cardinal. Check out the story on him on bikeportland.org. Also congratulate him because something exciting happened, but I'll let him tell you himself. 0 votes

4th place: photo 4
I guess I was wrong, I don't have the most ripped calves out of all my co-workers. 1 vote

3rd place: photo 2
Dean Tracy combines his incredible sprinting prowess with his incredible bone breaking prowess (rib, sternum, and what appears to be a broken ankle in the photo) to take home an honorable 3rd place, especially considering he was injured leading up to the competition. 4.5 votes (I split votes in half when it wasn't perfectly clear who the person voted for)

2nd place: photo 3
I think Slaven scared off some people with how disgusting his calf really was. I mean, the calf had a calf of it's own. That's weird. Nevertheless, he took home 4 full votes and two halfsies.

1st place: photo 1
I think a lot of people voted for Elizabeth's calves simply because she's a girl, but what they didn't know is that these are actually Ping Pong's calves. That's right, the slowest, most Asian of all my co-workers took home the prize with 5.5 votes. He swears he doesn't know who "fake girlfriend" is.

See? And you guys thought one vote wouldn't make a difference

Call to Calf-off

2006-05-19T15:21:00.000-07:00

Anonymous posted:

"Dear Sirs,
My name is Matt Cardinal. I believe for the most part this blog has been reporting a fair and balanced view of the subject matter. HOWEVER, I've always had a problem with the statement that Shannon has "the most ripped calves out of all my co-workers" I think this may be open for debate. (has anyone else SEEN Slavens?!!)While this may seem like a small, matter, I would say the opposite. It questions the very foundations of this blog and is a subject that should receive the appropriate attention.
Thank you and good day"

Since I've promised since the beginning to have a calf-tacular calf-athlon, here it finally is. In order to make it fair, the photos will be anonymous. Remember to consider definition, veininess, sexiness, smoothness, and overall aesthetics when voting. Post your vote in the comments section, and after a while I'll tally them up and let everybody know the results. Here we go:

Photo 1

Photo 2

Photo 3

Photo 4

And this time, don't let Ohio decide. Seriously.

EDIT:

We have an anonymous late entry. Let's call him M. Cardinal. Wait, that's too obvious. How about Matt C?

2006-05-16T13:01:00.000-07:00

From Grimace:

To the Hamburglar:

http://www.printroom.com/ViewGalleryPhoto.asp?userid=oregonvelo&gallery_id=376509&image_id=57

That's what I'm talking about.

Yes, Ping Pong is old. And fat.

So what's up with all the sandbagging going on? Larsen in experts, Molly Cameron in pro women (though I guess she did finish last), Pete Zlatnik (remember the name!) in cat 5's at PIR. I haven't seen that many sandbags since the great flood of 1996.

Happy Birthday, Ping Pong

2006-05-12T14:13:00.000-07:00

Another year older, another year whiter.

Untitled

2006-05-06T08:14:00.000-07:00

Apparently spurred on by Pong's comments about underperformance from BG employees, somebody finally got it done. That's right, the Gallery's own Pete "Buy my Carbon wheels" Zlatnik took the big V (or is it W?) in last Tuesday's cat 4/5 world championship. Of course, everybody except OBRA knew he was sandbagging, but hey, he'll be in next week's 3/4 race trying to repeat his performance.

Check it out: Stephen Colbert is hilarious. It's even funnier when you remember that he's talking to an audience of all the senior press members and that Bush and his wife Laura are there.

http://www.outsidethebeltway.com/fotos/video/WH-Dinner-Colbert.wmv

Check out this funny ebay auction: Is it Ping Pong?

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=7239659006

Molly Cameron is threatening to out me on her site. Apparently I'm too "in" right now. Too Vanilla is the new pink.

Peace out.

Ping Pong, a redux

2006-05-01T12:40:00.000-07:00

This is Ping Pong posting again, mainly because apparently Skerritt's too busy burrito-ing to post, but also because I'm the only other one who knows his password to the blog. Anyway, thought I'd fill everybody in with the details of the weekend spent with my man-wife.

Saturday was spent getting to work early, then getting off work early. Slaven and I went to the movies to catch the matinee viewing of the new movie called "Stick it". Anyways, I was a little apprehensious about the movie while I was buying the ticket because I kept overhearing 13 year old girls also buying tickets to the movie. But after sitting through 2 hours of pure bliss, i can say with confidence that this is the best movie ever. Seriously. Go see it. It's rocks too hard for only one hand. Oh, and on a side note, Slaven's new nickname is Wei Wei.

Sunday was spent sucking it up at Bear Springs. Seriously, we sucked like a brand new Hoover. Slaven apparently imploded in the Elite race along with quite a few other people. I took my customary anonymous mid-pack finish in the single speed. I blew up about 10 miles to the finish, which was actually longer than I thought I was going to last because I thought we were at about mile 20 at one point and when I asked somebody with a computer how far we had left, he said we were only at mile 11. Ouch.

Then we drank some beer. We discussed how there are some stellar racers at the Hollywood bike gallery, but nobody's put it together for a great result yet. Everybody's always got some excuse. Solomon "worked too hard in the break", Dean's got "a broken rib and sternum", I'm "Asian". It's always something.

Then we went and visited my hot, hot (fake) girlfriend for more beer and food, went home, and passed out.

Oh yeah, we got our new kits to match our bikes. Look out for the brand new, purple-no-more, blackalicious bike gallery kits at the front and back of local weeknight races near you. No more Grimace for me.

Tour of Georgia Race Recap

2006-04-24T07:40:00.000-07:00

Here is my report for the Tour of Georgia this past week:

Tuesday, day 1: The first day was a flat day, good for the sprinters. I was feeling frisky so I went ballistic at PIR. I attacked as much as possible, but it seemed like every time I went it was a sprint lap which made it hard to stay away. Nevertheless, I was there to blow out my legs so I used the giv'er stick quite a bit. Lars Michaelsen from CSC won. I ended up 4th or 5th or something like that.

Wednesday, day 2: Another flat day. I was tired from last night's shenanigans, so I took it easy. I did the tour de coffee shops today with the Hopper...Belmont Stumptown, over to Tabor, over to Wholesome Blends, then to work. While I was diddling around in the city, some domestic rider was sticking it to all the Protour big guns, off on a solo break for 100 miles or so. Too bad he was brought back. The next Discovery rock star/American idol, Yaroslav Popovych, slipped off the front in the last kilometer to steal it from the sprinters.

Thursday, day 3: Ahh, the time trial. I avoid time trials almost as much as I avoid stage races, so this was a good day to rest. But for those of you who have ever taken a rest day during a stage race, you know that if you don't work the legs at all you'll get a bit blocked up for the next day. So I went out for a couple hours in the morning before work. Meanwhile, Landis smoked the 40k TT in 54 something, even with a bunch of climbing! Surprisingly, Danielson was right behind. He'll be good after a bit more experience. Maybe even good enough to not crash Leonard out at Cascade.

Friday, day four: The first "hilly" day although they've all been sort of hilly. This one, I guess, was a bit more mountainous, but a couple sprinters still made it to the finish. Fred Rodriguez finally took a win, while I took a day off to get ready for the next day...

Saturday, day five: Brasstown Bald, the queen stage. This is a monster of a climb, after a bunch of already hard stages. Also some pretty crappy weather to start with. I rode into work, and after a slow start, things started really bumping. Jason McCartney was the stud of the day again, and I must have worn out the reload button trying to keep up with the action going on towards the end of the day. We all thought Popovych was going to take it with 300 meters left, but both Danielson and Landis slipped by! Since my job was the early shift, I was worn out early, so while everyone else was still at work my wife came to get me and we rode home slow together.

Sunday, day six: Last day. Stage racing is really hard, and I've pretty much been tired since Tuesday. I thought about going mountain biking out at Syncline with Pongs and the Hopper, but I decided that enough of the week had been devoted to cycling, and I could take an easier route and be done earlier in the day. So I rode a few hours in the morning, it was beautiful weather, so I went just a bit past my three hour limit. I thought the last day of stage races were supposed to be easy. Not here, I drilled it a few times up some climbs, but there was only one King of the Mountain sprint. Then a couple finishing circuits in town, and I was done. That's all until next year. I'm tired.

blog:30

2006-04-13T18:49:00.000-07:00

Top 10 reasons to love chamois butter:

10. Not just for external use
9. Delicious
8. Nutritious
7. Anti-bacterial, anti-establishment
6. If Dean had been using it, he'd have slid right across the steering wheel rather than right into it
5. Did not cause George Hincapie's fork to break
4. Seriously
3. I use it
2. Feels good to the touch
1. Molly Cameron dot com said so

Peace out.

Anonymous asked...

2006-04-09T19:17:00.000-07:00

I thought I'd take the time to answer some questions asked by a fan in the previous comments section.

Anonymous said:

Dear Shannon,
I was wondering if you would mind answering a couple questions. First, what is like to have so many hot women want to get with you? Is it always a honey-fest after the races, like they show us in rap videos? (y'know, bootys shakin' and cars bouncin') Your blog does a great job at showing the gritty side of being a national caliber bicycle racer, but I am interested in the party side of racing bicycles. I am planning on buying a Trek Madone and maybe giving this racing thing a try so I can get with the honeys too.

Shannon responds (in the third person):

Honey does often follow after Shannon races. Believe it or not, honey appears before races too. Shannon especially likes it on some bread with peanut butter and a banana sliced on top. But not too much before a race, otherwise it might come back to haunt you when the race gets hard. He recommends that you try it.

Shannon's car does do a lot of bouncing. He thinks there might be something wrong with the suspension, but he's not willing to put a lot of money into a 91 Honda civic.

Shannon wholeheartedly recommends buying a Trek Madone. But remember, if you do it, do it right and get at least a Madone 5.9 SL with a gold King headset. Shannon can order one for you if he doesn't have the right size in stock.

Seriously though, bike racing is hard, and I do like to cut loose and party a bit after a tough race. Especially in the summer after a hot crit, I really enjoy a burger and a glass of beer.

Back...

2006-04-03T16:36:00.000-07:00

...and vanilla-er than ever. Vanilla-ier? Vanillier? Milli Vanilli?

This is the latest new bike. It's a madone 5.9 SL. The "SL" stands for "Shannon". The "L" is a typo. It pedals fast and seems even smoother than last year's madone. I think it's due to the non-aero wheels versus the aeros that were on it last year. It's even Kinged out with a gold headset.

Let's see...I had a pretty good time with the last few races. I skipped the last Banana Belt, skipped Ice Breaker, skipped Piece of Cake. Next week I plan on skipping King's Valley, but maybe I just won't show up instead. I even plan on skipping some Tabor races this summer. But watch out at PIR, where I plan to dominate most (some) Tuesday nights, and where Ping Pong has announced he'll be making his long-awaited return to riding slower than anybody else in the A field. But he'll have a cooler bike.

Did I post on here that Boonen would win Flanders? If I didn't, I should have. He pretty much dominated the race, doing most of the work with Hoste in the break, then when Hoste jumped him with 400 m to go out of that last corner he just BRAAAAHPED it up to his wheel and came around him like me to Kozy Shack. Will he take Roubaix next weekend?

And while we're talking about who's winning races, Ping Pong and the BG's other stellar climber, Deaner, have agreed to go mano a mano at the Larch Mtn. TT. We're taking donations for prizes for the winner between the two. So far the pot is up to 2 snickers bars and a box of condoms.

Ping Pong's Post

2006-03-27T07:46:00.000-08:00

Hi everybody. This is not Shannon, this is Ping Pong. Since nobody wrote in that they wanted to guest post on this site, and since Shannon is apparantly too busy to update his site, I thought I'd at least let everybody know what is going on. I'll do my best to recreate a shannon-like experience for you. ok, ready? here it goes:

Rode the other day up a really hard climb. Tonkin started really givin'er and then it was just him and me after we dropped everybody else. It was getting close to my half-hour ride limit so I went home and ate a burrito. After the burrito it was time for some kozy shack and I had a hard time controlling myself. I was only going to eat half the tub but I accidentally ate the whole tub. Woe is me.

How was that?

Check this site out: www.burritoblog.com

In other news, Shannon neglected to share with everybody that his dog is no longer his dog. After months of unsuccessfully trying to breed the dog with his cats to create a dog-cat(-burrito) hybrid, Shannon eventually gave up and the dog has moved on to greener pastures (meaning a bigger house with a family to play with it). Next up, a cat-ferrett hybrid (or "carrett"). Eventually he's going to try a cat-cat hybrid, a fearsome animal with the head of a cat, and the body of a cat.

Oh, we also got our team bikes. They are sweet. Madone 5.9 SL with a gold Chris King headset. I think our bikes last year weren't quite nice enough, so we got the upgraded version.

This week is the big sale at work. It is going to be harder than trying to wrestle a burrito away from Shannon. I think I will just wear my bike shorts under my work clothes and count it all as chamois time. Anybody else out there going to do 50 hours this week?

Euro trash

2006-03-13T10:13:00.000-08:00

What self-respecting American bike racer isn't into the whole Euro thing? I'm talking stocking caps, shoe covers when it's 70 out, crappy roads, Euro-Disney; all those things make bike racers secretly love to emulate those across the pond even though we actually hate them because they love terror. But this morning I discovered an all new reason to celebrate the Euro thing:

The picture's a little unclear, but it reads "European Style Rice". I discovered this sweet, sweet goodness while shopping at Fred Meyer's this morning. It tastes just like regular kozy shack, but different. It's a little more vanilla, much like I am, descended from the scottish isles. It's a little darker, like those from the mediterranean. It's a little grittier, like the cobbled roads of Belgium. It's more real, like the streets of London.

Peace out.

Seriously

2006-03-10T16:42:00.000-08:00

Seriously.

http://www.katu.com/stories/84002.html

Tribute to Barry

2006-03-09T19:44:00.000-08:00

Since Wicks gave me a shout out on his site (wicknasty.blogspot.com) I thought I'd dedicate a post to him. Check it out:

Back when he was only good enough to ride Ultegra:

Taking a pee break, in the middle of a race:

Barry, you may be tall and fast, but I have more cats.

Ok, and I have to give props to Sacha. Check out the goods: http://www.cyclingnews.com/tech.php?id=tech/2006/features/nahmbs064

You know you've made it when you get two features on cyclingnews in 3 months.

That's what I'm talking about.

Peace out.

Blog report

2006-03-07T12:06:00.000-08:00

This morning I started my day off pretty easy, checking my own blog to see if any more people had posted comments on the latest post. There was one new one, reminding me that I'd vowed to bring back the phrase "peace out". Yeah, sorry, I forgot.

From there I moved on to mollycameron.com's blog. It's been a little while since I've read hers, so there were a couple entries I had to read through. There was a lot of text, and I felt a little bogged down about halfway through, but she includes some nice pictures and they gave me a nice pick-me-up that got me through.

From there I was getting a little tired from all the reading, so I headed over to cyclingnews to check out some pictures. The Tour of Cali pics are nice to look at, and then I checked out some stuff from the handmade bikes show. There's some cool stuff there, and a couple local builders, including the man who puts the "ill" in "van-ill-a".

After the short break I was rested up, and I went over to toddwells.net to check out his site. There wasn't anything new, but I skimmed through his last post again. Just reading about his training makes me tired. No wonder he's so fast.

And after all this, the end of my blogging was sort of anti-climactic. I checked out eriktonkin.bikeportland.org, but he hasn't posted anything new since he first started growing body hair at age 9.

I wonder if wicks or trebon is taller?

Peace out.

the update to end all updates

2006-03-03T15:56:00.000-08:00

That's a lot to live up to, but I think I can do it. Let's see...last time I updated, I was debating whether or not to do Cherry Pie. I didn't do it. Instead, we went on a long MTB ride out to Scappoose and back.

In the meantime, Ping Pong headed down to, and back from LA. He rode more in the two weeks that he was down there than I have all year so far. But I have a sweet stars and stripes jersey. How do you like that, Ping Pong? He was saying that he's never seen so many Benzes, Porsches, Lexuses, and other nice cars. While he was down there I guess there was an ongoing story about some dude with some million dollar plus lamborghini that crashed it while going an estimated 167 mph, crashed it into a telephone pole, and the car sheared in half. No kidding.

I didn't get a new cat this week. That's news, right? I'm still stuck at 4 (and one dog).

Ok, so race season is officially into full swing, with the Banananana belt series starting this weekend. I'll do this one for sure, unless it's really really crappy, but I think it'll just be kind of crappy. I'll be riding my Vanilla cross bike with dura-ace (you know, my backup cross bike. what's your backup cross bike?) because the new Trek Madone 5.9 SL's haven't shown up yet. I gotta get with it, I have to glue road tires onto my carbon wheels. Life is rough, I know.

Verdict on the 29er: I like it. It feels just a tad slower than a regular one, but I know it's not. How do I know? Because everybody tells me so. Anyway, it only feels slower when you're trying to accelerate, and I think there's an advantage pretty much everywhere else. Except it's a little heavier. Bottom line: come in, buy one, and if you don't like it, sell it for a substantial loss on craigslist. Plus it's like the new thing to do. 29ers are the new pink which is the new black.

Latest favorite show: Project Runway. Who watches this? It's on bravo. It's one of those reality TV shows, and it's based on people who want to be fashion designers. This show combines two of my favorite things: TV and me watching TV. I like it because as opposed to the other reality shows, it's judged based on actually producing something. So unlike the Apprentice or even American Idol, you're basically rewarded for working hard. That's kind of like pomegranates. I mean, it's kind of like bike racing.

I wonder how I would have done at the Tour of California? I think I would have done really well, because I heard the rider accomodations were really posh. I'm really good at relaxing and kicking my feet up, and I think I could do even better when it's in sunny California. I mean, I'm sure the racing would be hard and all, but I'm all about the recovery. Hotels, massages, maybe a soak in the hot tub, then the nightly buffet. I'd be all over that. Ping Pong saw the last stage, and said it was a pretty big deal. He even heckled Tom Danielson. Good work, Ping Pong.

I wonder what Tonkin's doing right now?

Update

2006-02-18T18:40:00.001-08:00

Talked to Ping Pong, I guess it's raining down in LA. Ha, poor schmuck. Oh well, at least it's warm there, unlike here. He said he's staying in Manhattan Beach, a block off the water, and he gets to ride an hour of bike path either north or south to get to any good riding. Sometimes he even has to get off his bike and walk it, not because the hills are too steep for him (like he has to do here), but because he'll get a ticket otherwise. Sounds like a good time.

Tomorrow is the first race. I think I'll do it, if it's not too cold. The plan (like every year) is to attack at the very beginning and see how long I can last in the breakaway. That's always a good way to start the race season, a 60 mile breakaway.

I guess it's now the season for race pre-reports and post-reports. I'll try to make them as un-boring and dis-uninteresting as possible. But I can't promise anything. Most of the time I find that race reports are possibly the worst thing you can find on the internet, and there's some pretty stupid stuff out there. Kind of like this blog.

Ok, I apologized to my mechanic for the comments about the bike not being built well. I did smell his biscuits.

Oh, and Nasty, my bike might be ugly, but at least it's not some genetic malformation like yours and trebone's.

I wonder what Tonkin's doing right now?

Peace out.

Back to my roots

2006-02-13T16:05:00.000-08:00

So for those of you that didn't know, mountain biking was my first foray into cycling. I'm excited to announce that I'm getting back to my roots with the purchase of a brand new Fisher Paragon 29er MTB. Last year I didn't own a mountain bike, and only did one MTB race (not counting the short tracks). The year before that I did own a MTB and only did one race. So now that I own a MTB again look out for me at the one race. I'm out for blood.

Is it still cool to call mountain bikes "MTB"s? Or should I call it a "two-nine-er"? Off-roader? Burrito earner?

Took it out for its maiden voyage this Sunday to those trails out in Scappoose. It was pretty fun, except my pro mechanic must have been sleeping when he built the bike. Luckily the training program that I've given him in exchange for his work doesn't actually help, so I think we're even.

In other news, don't do drugs.

I wonder what Tonkin's doing now?

Peace out.

It's so windy

2006-02-10T14:02:00.000-08:00

It's so windy that I'm pretty sure my leg warmers were flapping in the wind this morning when I rode to work. I talked to Ping Pong, and he rode in the West Hills this morning. He said he's never going to ride when it's this windy again. That means he won't ride indoors, won't ride when it's too windy, won't ride when it's too rainy, too hot, too cold, too sunny, or too nice out. That means he's down to 65 degrees and partly cloudy. But seriously, I guess it was super sketchy out there. He said it was super gusty, making it hard to control his bike, and there were downed branches everywhere, and he even saw two downed power lines. Yowza.

You won't believe this...I got a bad tub of Kozy shack last night. It was kinda dry, like the rice hadn't been cooked long enough or something. I still ate half the tub, though. I mean, you have to. Bad Kozy shack is still better than eating a salad or something.

Other than that, nothing new. I've just been trying to get out as much as possible, it's incredibly nice here now. Sunny and 50's every day, and it looks like it'll stay this way for another 5 days or so. It's reminiscent of last year when we had 70s and sunny all February. That was insane.

I'm going to try to start saying "peace out" all the time.

Peace out.

Super Bowl

2006-02-05T16:36:00.000-08:00

So I guess today is the super bowl. I think it's even going on right now. But seriously, does anybody even care about basketball? I had my own super bowl today...or as Ping Pong would say, a super-duper bowl (say it with a lisp). It was a huge bowl of granola this morning with soy milk. That's good stuff.

So yeah, nice weather today, huh? Did the Peet's coffee master's ride. Turned back about half-way through so as not to break my three hour ride limit. Heard the other guys did about 4.5 hrs. That's too long.

Got my vanilla built back up after riding the old waterford for awhile. It's like night and day. The waterford is cool, sure, but the vanilla is so light and stiff and comfortable. Almost like a carbon trek. Gratuitous sponsor plug: buy a Vanilla (as if you didn't already know you wanted one). Sacha has assured me that even though the waiting list is long, it's NOT because he's on vacation. Seriously.

What else...oh yeah, I guess the hot new thing with all those bikers that did the big race last weekend in Europe is their new love of waffles. It's sort of like me and burritos, except different, because I already was all over the Belgium waffle thing. I guess in Belgium they just call them waffles. I wonder if they have American burritos in Belgium. Probably. I'm guessing the traditional Mexican burrito there is normal sized, and American burritos are the Shannon-sized ones that I eat. Anyways, try some waffles, they're good. I'm not talking Eggo waffles. Get the good stuff. You can even buy your own waffle maker for cheap. Here's a hint: the more butter in the batter, the fluffier they are on the inside and the crispier they are on the outside. Butter in the batter.

If anybody actually likes it when I talk about Walmart and economic issues, here's another cyclist blog to check out: smithbryan.blogspot.com. He's a pro, and asks some good questions. I like this one (I'll paraphrase): if we subscribe to the theory of the free market, laissez-faire economics, etc., do we need to legislate morality (prostitution, gun control, abortion, etc). Or is all that stuff self correcting, or does it just fall into a natural, neutral state? I'll start off with my opinion, but I'll answer the question cryptically. I could buy everything I get from my partner (companionship, a person to talk to, sex) and yet I got married anyway.

It's been too long...

2006-01-28T14:50:00.000-08:00

Since my last entry. But there's so much to talk about. Let's see...cross worlds going on right now. Supposedly it's a super-fast course, which doesn't bode to well for Tonkin, but he's good at tonking, so hopefully he can pull off a good result. Belgians have been shut out so far, that's a shocker. And not the good kind either.

The Hopper and Ping Pong decided it would be a good idea to pull a 14 hour drinking stint, so they took off work yesterday and made up a new holiday, el Dia de Debauchery. They were joined by Deaner, Ping Pong's tall friend Mike, and various other people along the way for a 10 am to midnight drink-athlon. Sounds like good training. I joined them for breakfast at Gravy, where they were already into a couple stiff ones. They even put the hurt on the infamous Brian Wilson, who had to bow out early when the going was getting rough. I guess they wrapped up the night at Union Jack's where they made a couple new friends. Sounds like a good time. Suprisingly, both Deaner and Ping Pong made it into work today, not too much worse for the wear.

Sounds like the Single Speed World Cyclocross Championships (SSWCC? Or SSWCCC?) are going to happen here next fall. Mark your calendars for whenever they figure out it's going to be. But it sounds pretty cool, I think the prize is supposed to be having Ryan Weaver as your butler for a year. Seriously. A couple key members of the Portland bike mafia are really into it, so watch for it to take off. I promised Slaven I'd give it a plug here on the site to get everybody excited about it, so here it is. I think I might even make a cameo appearance also.

Guess how many cats I have? I'll give you a clue--four. Guess how many litter boxes I have? Each cat has their own, plus one for my dog just in case he finally learns how to use it, so that makes five. I'm like the crazy cat lady on the Simpsons. But with more cats.

The weather's crappy again. There were a couple good days last week. I even (accidentally) broke my three hour ride limit. I blame Corey. But it's back to the rain for now.

Oh yeah, for breakfast at Gravy yesterday I had this oatmeal brulee, which was oatmeal with caramelized sugar on top. It was really good.

Riding in this weather is like getting teeth pulled

2006-01-21T13:15:00.000-08:00

Sorry, I've been bad about updating for all my fans out there. I've been busy. You know, root canals, getting teeth pulled, stuff like that. I have been able to indulge in my favorite foods, though, Kozy shack rice pudding and cottage cheese. But apparently that's the way to get fast. Even Todd Wells (my fellow national champ) is getting his teeth pulled.

But seriously, I hate the dentist. I think it stems from when I was young and they pulled 9 teeth out at once. While I was awake. I hate the dentist like Ping Pong hates fat free mayonaise. "It's not real mayo!", he always complains.

Had coffee with Sacha and the Hopper this morning at Stumptown. Saw a sight rarely seen here in P-town: Slaven's bike had gears on it. Not since long before he moved to the Northwest has Slaven ridden with gears. He seemed to be slower on it when we rode. Funny. But his bike with DA 10 speed on it didn't really seem to be any heavier than when he only had one gear.

Check out the 10 day forecast. Not looking too bad. Looks like we should be getting a couple days off of the rain, just in time for my weekend. I might have to break my 3-hour ride limit rule (as in no more than 3 hours). But probably not.

Ping Pong bought his plane tickets to LA. I bought my plane tickets to Italy. Tonkin bought his plane tickets back to Euro-land a while ago. He left this past Wednesday. He said something about doing some big bike race over there. I think he's actually going to Euro Disney.

That's too bad about Trebon not being able to race. But there are things more important than bike racing. Like burritos. And lunch. Today for lunch I had an Amy's burrito, courtesy of my friend Fred Meyer.

First road race is 4 weeks from tomorrow!

I wonder what the Wookie's doing now?

Finally

2006-01-14T12:32:00.000-08:00

The rain has stopped, or at least slowed down for the next day and a half. That'll be nice, riding without getting drenched.

Tonkin's going to world's. Sweet. That whole house is, him, Rhonda, and they're adopted teenager Adam McGrath. Fastest house ever. Tomorrow I'm going to do a cross practice with Tonkin at Reed college. Keep him sharp for world's, ya know? Come cheer us on, it'll be just like a cross crusade race, except with only two people and no beer hecklers. Or, take bets on who's going to win.

Today for lunch I'm having a burrito. Ping Pong's having a tuna sandwich. Slaven's having an epic mtb ride.

Seriously.

p.s. this was the 50th post for too vanilla. a new milestone was reached, thus eliminating the need for proper grammer and punctuation.

What's up...

2006-01-11T10:26:00.000-08:00

with it raining for about the last 2 and a half months? Is it ever going to stop? Seriously. I rode in to work yesterday, got soaked. Rode home from work in still wet clothes. Then rode in again today, clothes still not dry. Another day in paradise. And now it looks like it's not raining. Sweet.

5 signs that the world's coming to an end:

1. Ping Pong's heading down to LA for the month of February to "train".
2. Tonkin's considering blogging on his shop's website.
3. Slaven's racing gears next year.
4. I was featured on cyclingnews.com (with a bike).
5. God told me so.

Oh, and rumor has it that the folks at River City are organizing a single speed cyclocross world championships here in Portland next fall.

You heard it here first.

Check it

2006-01-07T10:28:00.000-08:00

http://www.cyclingnews.com/tech/2005/probikes/?id=skerritt_vanilla

Funny story

2006-01-04T12:31:00.000-08:00

So there I was, givin'er...wait, that's not right. So there I was, making chocolate chip cookies last night. I got all the ingredients together, and you know what the one thing I was missing was? That's right, vanilla. How Alanis-Morrisette-ironic is that? So I figured, hey, I'm vanilla, so I dipped my finger in the batter and mixed it around for awhile, and the cookies turned out great.

But seriously. I used Kalhua. A lot.

Blog

2006-01-03T12:07:00.000-08:00

Sorry about the lack of updates. I've been taking my annual holiday break from blogging, where I try to cut down on the amount of blogging so I can stay fresh for the spring and summer blog season. Still, it's a big part of my life, so I couldn't help but blog a little bit today. I still check out the other blogs out every day online, though. That way I can keep in touch with what's going on, and it motivates me to get my blog going. I just don't want to get burnt out, know what I mean?

Everybody have a good new years? I spent mine with the wife and a couple friends. I was supposed to meet Ping Pong and the Hopper for a ride at the stroke of high noon new years day, but for the first time in my life, I was late for a ride. I think it's a good thing that I didn't ride with them, because apparently everybody bonked and one guy got hit by a car. And the only rode about 2 hours.

Up next: some base blogging, then I get into some heavier blogging, and race report blogging is only a few short weeks away.

Catching up

2005-12-28T14:18:00.000-08:00

I've been fighting off a cold the past couple days, ever since I had to go sit in meetings in the basement for a couple hours. Haven't been sick all year, and all it takes is a morning full of meetings to give me a scratchy throat. Figures. At least it's the best time of year to get sick. Better now than three weeks ago.

Anybody tried fig newmans recently? For the past few months, they've been all dry. But I kept up with them, and the last pack was back to their wonderful, moist, goodness. It's just like bike racing. Things may not be going well for awhile, but if you stick with it, chances are they'll turn around.

Speaking of bike racing, who's excited for the first road race? I'm not. It's coming up here in 7 weeks or so. Seems like I just stopped racing two weeks ago. Oh wait, I did. The off season is too short. Maybe I need to pick up another sport, like speed skating. That way I could race every weekend of the year. That's exactly what I need. More racing. What I'm most excited about is my trip to Italy this summer with my wife. That's right, I'm spending a week in Italy with no bike racing, just bike riding. It'll be the first time in years I've taken time off of work just for relaxing, not for racing. It will be great.

Got my wife a sweet Trek 1500 for Christmas. It's this really nice baby blue color, sort of like the color of my too vanilla for you t-shirt. She hasn't ridden it yet, but I can tell she wants to. I know because she told me, "I want to ride it".

Had our team meeting the other night. Sat down with a couple guys from last year and a couple new guys and hashed out what we're doing for next year. I'm pretty excited, we'll be sporting a different look with more black and less purple. Hopefully Ping Pong's butt will look less like Grimmus from McDonald's and more like a bike racer's. I'm putting him to work this year.

And for the record, I don't hate Veloshop or River City. Or the Bike Gallery. I do, however, hate how I cracked the rim on my carbon wheels. That'll hurt the wallet. Well, those things have seen so many seasons and so much racing that I suppose it was about time. I'm still riding them, anyhow. All I did was set the brake pads lower, and they finished out the rest of the season.

My wife and I saw that movie Syriana on Christmas day. It was good, but I think I'll need to see it again to fully understand what was going on. There were about 5 plot lines going on, all intertwined. It really makes you think whether or not the filmmaker sensationalized anything. If not, that's some crazy shit going on over there.

You know what else is good? Mandarin oranges. That's what I'm talking about.

More later. Boo yah.

From yesterday's Oregonian...

2005-12-26T12:14:00.000-08:00

"Oregon could be the next state with an anti-steroid bill"

Apparently New Jersey will begin random drug testing of high-school athletes, and the Oregon State Athletic Association (OSAA) is considering a plan to do the same.

This is stupid. Athletes are given every incentive to dope (except the line that it's ethically "wrong") and the threat of random drug tests is supposed to deter someone? Probably not, especially when doping may lead to a state championship which may lead to a successful college career which may lead to a multi-million dollar contract. Seems to me like they're attacking the wrong end of the problem.

Where's Waldo?

2005-12-24T10:56:00.000-08:00

Can everybody spot the three times a Vanilla kit shows up in the new issue of Velonews? There's one of Molly, two of me. First person to identify them all gets a free Vanilla (sandwich, between me and Molly, but only if Molly agrees to it).

So I think the winner of the date with Cliff has to be Sommer11, mostly because it seems like she's the only one cares. So let us know when you want to go out, and we'll make it happen.

Merry Christmas to everyone.

News Wrap-up

2005-12-21T13:54:00.000-08:00

Some interesting tidbits of news today...

Pennsylvania court bars teaching of intelligent design.

Saddam Hussein claims he was tortured and beaten by US forces.

Shooting at Walmart in New Mexico injures 6 year old girl.

I had soup and rice pudding for lunch.

Trebon reports that Tonkin trimmed up his beard.

Oh yeah, and I forgot to thank Mark Peterson from Kona for pitting for me at nationals.

Massage later.

Untitled

2005-12-20T14:27:00.000-08:00

Anybody been following what President Bush has been up to the past couple days with his Oval Office speech and press conferences? Here's some food for thought:

"Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the peacemakers for a lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country."

Herman Goering, Hilter's designated successor, before being sentenced to death at the Nuremberg trials.

Ouch.

Bloggin'

2005-12-19T10:40:00.000-08:00

There's only one thing to do on a cold, wet, slushy Portland day...blog it, with style.

Did some saddle time with the stateside half of the twin-towers yesterday. It was cold, but that was nothing compared to when it started raining sheets of ice down later in the day. I heard Ping Pong did 4 hours on his single speed cross bike. Supposedly he's trying to get fast for next year (or at least faster than some cat. 5's).

Here's the new kit for next year...

2005-12-16T13:00:00.002-08:00

Life Update

2005-12-15T09:14:00.000-08:00

Hey, I'm back. If you guys didn't know, I was out on the East Coast doing a big bike race. I just wanted to check in and let everybody know what I've been up to.

First off, a big shout out and thank you to Dave, Althea, and Colt, my three great hosts in RI. You guys were awesome, and I'll try to get some Stumptown out to you guys so you can start spreading the gospel out there.

Also, thanks to Ping Pong for keeping the blog updated (although some of the drivel he wrote was kind of worthless).

So here are some interesting things that have come up over the past couple weeks:

1. I've got a cameo in the new cross DVD called "Transition". It's me givin'er past the main character, Myerson, at national's last year. Check it out, it's a cool video.
2. When I was at the jersey presentation, somebody shouted out "Where's Ping Pong?" He's getting famous.
3. Cyclingnews wants to do a feature on my bike.
4. Surprisingly, I missed my dog. Oh, and my wife too.
5. Slaven's belt is cooler than my jersey. Maybe I should do single speed next year.
6. Richard Sachs and Ryan Trebon both commented on my blog.
7. After the race on Friday, I was so f-ed up that I couldn't function. Thanks to Dale from Kona for getting me in my car and warmed up. I almost lost it, but I didn't want to break my 8 year streak of not vomiting.
8. Ten interesting things are too hard to come up with.
9. More later.
10. Everything's better in list form.

Interview with the sponsor (part one)

2005-12-10T23:21:00.000-08:00

Too Vanilla For You: So what bike are you going to build for Matthew?
Sacha White: Can I get a beer?

TVFY: Please answer the question.
SW: For Matt? Cardinal?

TVFY: No, Slaven.
SW: Umm...If I had my choice, a single speed commuter with built in lights, super streamlined. But we're thinking a single speed road bike.

TVFY: Is this your first national championship with Shannon?
SW: My first championship? My first Win? Yes.

TVFY: Are you more vanilla or shannon? Or molly?
SW: I'm definitely more vanilla. Like twice as much vanilla. I've actually got the tatoos.

Tvfy: That's a bold statement. What's your favorite burrito?
SW: Southwest green chili. Broccoli no pico.

TVFY: From Laughing Planet?
SW: Yeah.

TVFY: Do you love or hate Walmart?
SW: Jeez. Wow man. Um, I haven't gone to Walmart for 18 years and I don't think I'd go to walmart.

TVFY: But you bought a computer from Sears.
SW: Yeah, it seems different somehow. I don't know how we ended up at Sears for a computer, and we probably wouldn't end up there again.

TVFY: What's your favorite thing about Shannon? And remember, speak slowly.
SW: Definitely his ripped calves. He talks to me and that makes me feel special. Right? That's pretty special, dont' you think?

TVFY: Do you like SW green chili burritos more? Or Shannon's calves?
SW: Green chili burritos or shannon's calves more?

TVFY: Answer the question.
SW: Well, I think that the way that I like green chili burritos is different than the way I like Shannon's calves. So I don't like one more, they're just different.

TVFY: That sounds like a cop out to me.
SW: If I really had to choose one or the other, I'd go for the calves. Wrapped in a flour tortilla.

TVFY: Thanks for your time.
SW: Well, thanks for honoring me with the invitation

Thanks to Sacha for giving us his time for the interview. Stay tuned for part two of the interview with the man behind the bikes behind the man.

Tonkin update

2005-12-09T11:42:00.000-08:00

race cancelled because of the weather. Tents are all blowing away. hypothermic conditions. hypodermic needles found on course. full on blizzard.

Shannon Update

2005-12-09T11:16:00.000-08:00

We heard from Shannon, here's what he had to say...
Conditions went from freezing rain to snow to sleet during the race, super slick. Richard Feldman and Shannon duked it out off the line, Feldman went into the first corner way too hot and ate it. Shannon gets a gap with another guy, drops him, and rides away by himself. He said he was bonking the last couple laps, and was so cold that he thought he might not be able to get his legs back around for the next pedal stroke. 30 minutes later he's still in his car trying to warm up.

Tonkin's also racing the old man's race now, we'll let you know how he does.

Ping Pong

You heard it here first (for the second time)

2005-12-09T10:45:00.000-08:00

Shannon takes it!
Brings home the stars and bars!
Does his blog proud!
File that one under...boo-yah!

You heard it here first...

2005-12-09T10:06:00.000-08:00

Dale Knapp wins!
and Dale Plant takes 8th!
in the masters race.

We'll keep you posted when we hear anything about Shannon. He's racing right now as I type.

Ping Pong

Ping Pong's Pre-race wrap-up

2005-12-08T10:01:00.000-08:00

Predictions:

1. Page (sorry Trebon, he's really fast)
2. Trebon...I'll give you second
3. Wicks...and your teammate third
4-6. Too close to call
7. Tonkin
8 through 12. I don't know
13. Shannon
14 through mid-pack. Other racers
Mid-pack + 1. Tony Wilhelm, on a fixed gear
And the rest

Latest Shannon update: apparently Shannon somehow sprained his ankle running from the registration table before the race on Sunday (maybe trying to get away with an expired UCI license? He does that kind of stuff) but still finished 8th or something. He's also planning on racing the Master's race on Friday since he's old. But he may need a cane to get through it with his arthritic hips and sprained ankle. But I'll still predict a top 5 for him in that race.

That's pretty impressive, huh? 3 kona boys in the top 7, 4 Oregonians in the top 12. Maybe even 5 with Horner.

After the race, Shannon will have 1 glass (not pint) of beer and a hamburger, then it's time to start training for next year! Oh yeah, and back to work on Tuesday. A great reward for another great year.

Ping Pong's Poll

2005-12-04T17:50:00.000-08:00

So here it is:

Matthew Slaven has agreed to stick with whatever the adoring public wants him to do. If you want him to race geared, let us know. If you want to see him sticking with one gear, tell us. If you want him not to race so you can win, too bad.

Post in the comments section!

p.s. there were no mini hot dogs, but there were plenty of meat balls

Ping Pong again

2005-12-03T17:43:00.000-08:00

Latest Shannon update: heard from Shannon today. 11th place in cold (34-35 fahrenheit) and windy conditions against a pretty stacked field. He felt a little rusty. Tomorrow's forecast is for 1-3" of snow. Ouch. Another Gloucester?

On to the important stuff...apparently the blog is reaching out to distant places such as the far east (coast). Shannon's fielded multiple questions about his post on East coast coffee. Hey, it's good, but once you've had Stumptown, you'll never go back. He even offered to refund your money if you come to Portland, try Stumptown, and don't like it.

On another note, I (Ping Pong) am going to be attending a holiday party tonight at my friend Joe's girlfriend's house. I'm going because I was promised cocktail sized meatballs, mini quiche, and tiny hot dogs. Mmmmm, hot dogs. Cross Crusade party be damned.

(Stumptown rules)

Ping Pong's Post

2005-12-02T12:16:00.000-08:00

Latest Shannon update: no updates yet.

It was requested that I share with everybody what I did over Thanksgiving. In my country, we have nothing to give thanks for, but since I live in E-merica I decided to partake in the annual celebration of the day that Pilgrims learned to live with the Indians.

So my housemates and I had 25 people over (including ourselves). It would have been 26, but there was one no-show. There were two other cyclists there, as well as two cyclists' wives, plus my lady friend and some of her friends, plus an assortment of friends, friends of friends, and I think one guy who walked in off the street because he didn't seem to know anybody.

It was a potluck, and I made two pumpkin pies to go with the three other pumpkin pies that were there. I actually didn't eat too much (I need to lose 3 pounds), but I did wake up at 4 am that night to finish off the rest of the pie.

I need a 52-54 cm road frameset cheap for the winter. Anybody got anything? I can pay you in egg rolls (or money, if the price is right).

Who's going to the cross crusade party tomorrow night? Or if you're reading this afterwards, did everybody have fun at the cross crusade party?

Ping Pong takes over

2005-11-29T17:06:00.000-08:00

Since Shannon is gone for close to two weeks, I'll be updating his blog with any reports we get from him. He flew out this morning for two races in RI this weekend, then nats next saturday and the liberty cup on sunday.

Latest update: there are no updates from Shannon.

With Shannon gone, I like to ask myself "what would Shannon do?" Today I ate a burrito. Then I ate some peanuts. Perhaps I will have a burrito for dinner, and a pomegranate for dessert.

Latest unsubstantiated rumor: Sir Hops-a-lot is going to gears next year. If he can do that much damage with one, think about what he can do with 18 (or maybe 20, if he gets the hookup)!

Did you notice? No mention of Walmart in this post. Except for this one.

Ciao,
Ping Pong

Comments

2005-11-27T19:10:00.000-08:00

To address some comments that have been brought up, I decided to start a new post.

Anonymous said...
I'm not too sure, but I think you were using COSTCO as an example of a buisness that is somehow better than Wal-Mart. Truth is COSTCO is just as terrible at destroying local economies as Wal-mart. The vast majority of Americans are short sighted and fail to see the big picture. Low prices come at a very high long term cost. Anyway, how is COSTCO's big box any nicer to look at than the big W?

4:53 PM

blen gennington said...
it doesn't have that stupid smiley face on it?

6:26 PM

Anonymous said... What about the families that can't afford to buy elsewhere when Wal-Mart or Costco are their only choices? Politics don't mean squat when you are broke or pinching pennies and have kids to feed and clothe.

What's the average wage of bike store employees? What about commissions? Does that enter into the equation? What kind of benefits do they have?

shannonskerritt's response:
All I'm saying is that Costco has better treatment of their employees, as evidenced by higher wages and better employee benefits.
I'm not saying it's any prettier to look at.

I'm not too into the "destroying local cultures" argument. That argument has been used against market values and capitalism as early as the 18th century (check out Justus Moser, 1720-1794). My reasoning is that a locally owned, locally produced good has a higher market value than a low-cost substitute. Therefore, it's not in direct competition, but it actually becomes a different product. To illustrate, look at the number of people who shop at New Seasons (and Whole Foods and Trader Joe's, even though those aren't perfect examples) even though numerous cheaper options for food exist.

The whole thing about people who can't afford to shop at other places is a huge issue, one that is impossible to fully address in a blog. But I've always enjoyed a challenge (that's why I love cyclocross) so here goes.

A couple points:
1. There will always be poor people, and I don't believe people are entitled to every little thing they want. So if Ping Pong can't afford a DVD player because he bought a $1500 set of wheels, then whose fault is that? It's not up to a big box retailer to provide him a cheaper DVD alternative, it's up to him to prioritize where he wants to spend his money. Having children is a choice. Now I'm not equating having kids to owning a set of wheels, but you kind of get what I'm saying?
2. Government policy (especially tax policy) is very biased in favor of the rich, because they have the most influence (money). For example, sales taxes are very skewed in favor of the rich. Let's say there's a sales tax of 6%. Let's say there is a 3 person household that makes $50,000, and they buy $25,000 worth of stuff per year that they absolutely need to survive (food, clothes, that kind of stuff). That means they're paying 6% tax on half their income. But a household making $250,000 that only needs $25,000 in absolute necessities will only be charged 6% on 10% of their income. And that's just the sales tax. There are all kind of sales tax that benefit higher income people, such as estate taxes, capital gains taxes, etc.

What I'm trying to say is that the amount of money you have to spend is directly related to the choices that you make and to government policy. One you can directly change, the other you can indirectly change. Sure, there will be other influences, but I believe these are the two biggies. Does that necessitate me shopping at Walmart? No. Does that necessitate an hourly wage earner to shop at Walmart? I don't believe so, if certain choices are made like giving up a $1500 set of wheels.

I think most bike shop employees make enough to survive without resorting to Walmart. That may be because many of them are single and have very little debt. However, I know of at least a couple Bike Gallery employees that are supporting wives and kids on a single income. It's not easy, but they do it.

As for benefits, do you think that a locally owned, mom and pop style shop is more likely to give you benefits than a store like Walmart?

And finally, let's assume the average American household makes $50,000. I'd guess that number is high. So Walmart save them $2300 last year. That's 4.6%. That's like cutting over half the WA state sales tax off a household's spendings, or it's like paying 4.6% less income tax. Again, another nugget of gold from a much hated company.

More Walmart

2005-11-27T09:22:00.000-08:00

Check out the Sunday Oregonian. Some stats:

-Walmart saved the average american household $2300, not $830 like I previously thought.
-they employ 1.6 million people
-average hourly wage $11.52
-profit per employee $11039

compare that to Costco:

-average hourly wage $15.97
-profit per employee $13647

not to mention Costco contributes $2000 more than Walmart does to employee health care ($5735 compared to $3500) and 82% of their employees are covered compared to 47% of Walmart employees.

So apparantly you can pay higher wages give health benefits and still increase profitability.

Does anybody care?

Another fascinating insight into Wal-Mart

2005-11-25T15:44:00.000-08:00

Cheap Laptops Spark A Brawl At Wal-Mart

ORLANDO, Fla. - Do not cut in line at a Wal-Mart on the day after Thanksgiving.
An Orlando television station reports that security guards wrestled a man to the ground Friday morning after he cut in line to get a laptop computer that was on sale.

The television station reported that the man argued with other customers and then fought with the guards.

One man told reporters that the laptops were being thrown into the air and people rushed toward them.

The discounted computers also caused a frenzy at a Wal-Mart in Renton, Washington.

Extra police were called out to help control the crowd that pushed its way toward the electronics department and then pushed counters out of position as they tried to get those laptop computers.

(Copyright 2005 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)

That's hilarious. Well, maybe not to anybody who got trampled, but to an outside observer. That's the reason WalMart and other discount places will always do well; people always seem to prioritize low prices over any other sort of values.

Walmart saved the average family something like $831 last year. You know what that means? Walmart in effect changed the real value of the dollar. Interesting, huh?

Thanksgiving wrap-up

2005-11-25T13:01:00.000-08:00

I had a good thanksgiving. Did you?

It started off with a few hours on the bike with the Kona boys (the hairy one and the tall one), Dougie, and Chad. Weather was good, no rain. After that came my favorite part about Thanksgiving: the eating. First I ate a bunch because I was hungry. Then I ate some more to carbo-load (and turkey-load) for the big races coming up. Then I ate some more in honor of all those people out there who are less fortunate and are unable to have a nice meal every day. Then I ate some more.

So I had quite a few people tell me that my last post wasn't funny. What, do you guys think I do this to entertain you? If so, you try coming up with intelligent, interesting crap that's funny all the time. It's a lot harder than it looks. Or I could start doing race reports if that's what everybody wants. But I know that the people really just want to hear what it's like to be me.

I am eating lunch right now. First, I made a turkey sandwich. Then I had some more turkey so I ate that, breadless, but with some mustard. Ping Pong brought in some homemade pumpkin pie but Slaven go to it before I had a chance. Instead, I am eating peanuts right now for dessert. Less satisfying.

Somebody post a comment and I'll respond.

It's about time

2005-11-22T10:11:00.000-08:00

Looks like I finished top-nine overall in the Crank Bros series. That's good, right? First un-pro guy with a full time job. I'd like to give a big thank you to a bunch of people, including my wife, my sponsor Sacha, my nine cats and one dog, and, of course, Ping Pong.

Next up: another weekend of UCI racing, then gnats. I mean nats.

Good job to Tonky this weekend for another podium, plus wrapping up a top-6 overall in the series.

In other news, pomegranates are on sale for 2 for $5 at Wild Oats. Yeah, it seems kind of expensive at first, two pieces of fruit for five dollars. But trust me, they're worth it, plus each one is good for about an hour of entertainment while you try to eat it.

You know what else is good for an hour of entertainment? The new Harry Potter movie. Plus, you get an extra hour and a half of entertainment to go with that hour. Hour forty minutes, if you count the previews (some people do, I don't).

Ping Pong has email. I see him use it all the time at work.

Shout out

2005-11-16T21:59:00.000-08:00

Check out the lovin' I got on bikeportland.org. I am getting famous. It's all part of the masterplan for world domination, one blog at a time.

In other news, I'm getting ready to go down to San Fran tomorrow. I've been looking forward to this trip the whole year...I can't wait to ride the street car.

And finally, a top ten list of reasons why I am too vanilla for you.

10. I have a vanilla cross bike. Do you?
9. race report-less blogging
8. have you seen my calves?
7. less hairy than Tonkin, whiter than Ping Pong
6. recently voted most popular cat. 1 in Portland
5. reported by the Willamette week to be one of the most elite cyclists in Portland, then quoted as saying that single speeders are a bunch of jokers. Perhaps they meant elitist?
4. I have a second vanilla cross bike. How many do you have?
3. My wife has to use the computer
2. So I have to get off
1. I have a blog

Lunch

2005-11-12T12:50:00.000-08:00

Today I had a chile relleno burrito from Ole Ole. Discuss.

Pomegranates

2005-11-09T18:25:00.000-08:00

They're in season and delicious. Just like cyclocross...a lot of hard work to get to the sweet success. Great in martinis also.

Win a date with Cliff Shrader

2005-11-07T10:20:00.000-08:00

Who doesn't want to go out with a guy who's tall, dark, and handsome, with an incredibly refreshing personality? I know I do! But Cliff doesn't swing my way, so for all you lucky ladies out there, here is your chance to win a coveted spot in the passenger seat of Cliff's BMW for a night out on the town.

The rules are simple:
1. You must be a female (sorry guys!)
2. In the comments section of this post, please list the contents of your shower in as much detail as possible. For example, "soap and shampoo" is not a very detailed answer. The idea is for Cliff to understand you and your personality through the skin and hair products that you use. If I were to enter this contest, my entry would say, "Jergens body soap, Head and Shoulders anti-dandruff shampoo, gillette mach 3 razor, and a refreshing after-shower mango-scented lotion".
3. Judging will be handled by me (Shannon), Ping-Pong, and Cliff.

Fire away!

Weekend report

2005-11-01T16:17:00.000-08:00

Just got back from the East Coast this morning from rounds 3 and 4 of the USGP. So I flew back into PDX, and when I got down to the baggage claim, I got both my bags, but my bike didn't come through. I checked in the oversize luggage claim area, and didn't see it there, then the alarm went off and the conveyor stopped, and still no bike!

I went to the baggage claim desk, and there wasn't anybody there, so I went up to the Northwest ticketing counter. They weren't any help. They told me I had to talk to the people down in the baggage claim area, and they didn't seem to understand that I couldn't talk to people that weren't there. I was getting annoyed, so I called my asian helper Ping-Pong to come get me. I was resigned to the fact that I was going to have to wait until the airlines found my bike.

I got back down to the baggage claim area where Ping-Pong was coming to pick me up. There were finally people at the desk so I went up to them to find out when they were going to get me my bike. Lo and behold, there it was, sitting right next to the desk. It turns out the bike had gone through on the conveyor belt, gone into the back area where the oompa-loompas work, and on it's way back out it had gotten stuck in the hole in the wall, shutting down the conveyor belt and setting off the alarm.

Those incompetent fools.

Oh yeah, 8th on Saturday and 11th on Sunday.

USGP #3

2005-10-30T16:05:00.000-08:00

Gloucester...blizzard, cold, top 10 finish. Tonkin top 4 finish. Molly top 20 finish. Cold.

Fine...more pictures, less words

2005-10-29T10:01:00.000-07:00

Gratuitous gettin'er done shot

Gratuitous butt shot

East Coastin

2005-10-28T10:54:00.000-07:00

So here I am on the East Coast, getting ready for these races this weekend. Even though I'm from the East Coast, I'm always amazed at the differences between here and Portland. The coffee in Portland is great, especially old Stumptown, here it's all Starbucks and whatnot. Even on rainy days in Portland the sun will shine through every now and then, here it's been gray since I got off the plane. Voodoo donuts are amazing compared to the crap I've been getting at Dunkin Donuts. Another difference I noticed is that I have a car in Portland, here I have to "borrow" or "rent" one. And what's up with the time difference? It's 11 am in Portland but already 2 pm here? Bizarre.

More to come after the races.

Walmart to spend $500 million on technologies to improve environmental practices

2005-10-25T09:18:00.000-07:00

$500 million is 5% of their annual $10 billion profits. But that's still a lot of money. Supposedly it will help the bottom line by reducing operating costs. It's hard to believe that improving their public appearance doesn't greatly factor in, but it's still a step in the right direction.

I'm not sayin' I love Walmart now or anything.

I'm just sayin'.

The touch

2005-10-24T15:40:00.000-07:00

It looks like in order to win a race, you have to know me...
example 1: Matthew Slaven singlespeed Scouter's Mtn Cross Crusade-1st place!
example 2: Erik Tonkin Mens A Scouter's Mtn Cross Crusade-1st place!
See where this is going?
I know myself, and therefore could have won a race, but an untimely flat tire took me out of the running.
If you want to win your next race, it looks like your chances will be dramatically improved if you are my friend (I like coffee--especially double americanos).
I wonder what Ping-Pong's doing?

Did you know...

2005-10-21T13:03:00.000-07:00

At my first cyclocross race ever, I got 7th in the A's?
I have an asian helper named Ping-Pong?
Photographers find my arm hair "distracting"?
Clothes make the man, accessories make the man fabulous?
I used to work for Burton snowboards?
I'm married and a homo-ner
I have the most ripped calves out of all my coworkers?

TV Report

2005-10-20T13:37:00.000-07:00

I made it to the couch early for my favorite weekly TV show, "Lost". This has been one of my favorite shows since it debuted on ABC last year. I got to the couch at about 8:45 with some orange juice with enough time to get settled in before the show started.

The show started right on time at 9, which is nice when you think about some other shows that always start later than they're advertised. That always throws off the schedule, especially if you have to be on another channel for something afterward. From the beginning, it was exciting as usual. I was on the rivet for the full hour, except for a couple short intervals when I could relax during the commercials. I think I even used one for the opportunity to go to the bathroom, but as soon as I was done I started focusing on the show again.

As soon as the show was over, I started thinking about the next one. The previews were calling for somebody to die in the next episode. I'm thinking it's going to be Sawyer kicking the big champagne bucket. But maybe that's too obvious and it will be Hurley. Or it could even be that girl while she's trying to save Sawyer. That's the great thing about TV; no matter how prepared you are, you don't know what's going to happen when it plays out. I'm just bummed that I have to wait three weeks before the next one.

Afterwards, I cooled down with about 15 minutes of the the show "Invasion". I was in bed pretty early with help from a little wine, but mostly I was just tired from the show.

I wonder what Tonkin's doing now?

Solving the issue of global climate change*

2005-10-18T20:30:00.000-07:00

Ok, so the title is fairly inaccurate. This post will not solve much, but it will present a different way of looking at things. So the problem with global warming is that certain people (many of whom are currently running the government) have no incentive to acknowledge that it even exists, let alone that it might be a problem in the not too distant future. Why? Let's take a developing country, China, for example. Pretend that there is a world governing body that can effectively regulate environmental emissions country by country. So this governing body assumes that China is polluting too heavily, and decides they need to cut down on their emissions. What does this do? It encourages foreign investors (in this case, Americans might be foreign investors) to not invest their money in China. This is because the newly imposed environmental regulations make it much more costly to invest in China. This means that the economic development of China is greatly depressed because there isn't much foreign money flowing in, and domestic investors spend more money on meeting those regulations that could otherwise be invested in development.

Let's assume there is no (or little) environmental regulation, and China develops quickly, and once they reach a reasonable level of wealth, they can then focus on cleaning up the environment. That's what the current U.S. administration is banking on. However, that's basically the position the U.S. is in now, and many people would argue that there is far too little being done in terms of environmental regulations here. Why? According to standard economic models, it is always better to invest in the development of a country and push those regulations further and further into the future. If you had a billion dollars to spend and you were promised a 7% return in one year, would you agree to spend only $750 million to invest and spend $250 million on cleaning up your industry? It would make more sense to say let's invest the $1,000,000,000 this year, take that 7% return, then we'll have that much more to work with next year to help clean up the environment. The problem is that there's always a next year.

So that's the problem. Bored yet? Oh wait, there's actually an even bigger problem. Nobody really knows what or when something is going to happen. So potentially, many pundits of global warming could be absolutely correct and maybe nothing bad will happen. Maybe recent warming trends are nothing more than normal fluctuations that play out over billions of years. Or maybe something disastrous is looming right around the corner.

Therein lies the solution. In order to convince certain people that something must be done, the problem has to be framed differently. Let's take a look at terrorism. Before September 11, 2001, I would venture to say that very few investors took it upon themselves to judge the risk of a potential terrorist attack. However, it's probably one of the first considerations now for American investors in foreign countries, especially ones with which we have volatile relationships. There are even insurance policies against terrorist attacks for many industries.

Why, then, can't the possibility of global climate change be viewed as an insurance problem? Investors pay a premium to hedge against risks of fires, floods, and now terrorist attacks. Why not global climate change? I see two main reasons why this hasn't happened yet. First, there are few comprehensive studies that predict the effect of climate change on various industries. There are some that predict effects on GDP, but what we need is something like this: 1 degree Celsius rise, fishing industries may suffer; 2 degree Celsius rise, increase in hurricanes that affect economies of coastal towns; 5 degree Celsius rise, New York, San Francisco, L.A. are swallowed up by the ocean, Missouri is the new east coast, and the American economy collapses. And so on and so forth.

The second reason why I believe not much has been done is that people are in their nature very reactive rather than proactive. But that's just stupid. Let's learn some lessons from history. Do we really need events like Sep. 11 and Hurricane Katrina to drive people to action? Aren't there enough creditable people predicting doom if nothing is done to address the current situation? It's not as though addressing the problem in this way requires too much out of the government. Basically, all that is needed is a centrally sponsored program (somebody's got to pay for it) to do research into the effects that POSSIBLE changes in global climate may have on industries. Then the onus is on the people involved in those industries to decide for themselves and "buy their insurance policies" in the form of polluting less. I have health insurance and car insurance, and I would have them even if it wasn't so cheap through work or required by law. And if I was the CEO of a big company and there was research done that a small change in the global temperature could drastically affect my earnings, I would definitely spend some money to try to prevent that from happening. That's self-enforcing, and that's the beauty of the free market.

Comments? Questions? What am I not thinking about?

*views expressed in this commentary are not necessarily those of Shannon Skerritt's.

Pre-race post-cap

2005-10-15T17:02:00.000-07:00

After tomorrow's race, I'll be pretty tired. I like to eat hamburgers after races, so I'm probably going to eat one of those, maybe with a glass (not pint!) of beer and a pitcher of water.

Recovery is always important after races, much like it will be tomorrow after this one. I'll be looking forward to a short massage on Thursday, then a full one next Monday before I fly out to the East coast. I think I will wait until after those races to report what will happen.

Race Pre-report

2005-10-15T16:25:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is the Veloshop race at PIR. After a couple huge races last weekend it will be nice to have a smaller race to enjoy. Here is how it will go down:

I will arrive at the race before my start. I'll spend some time warming up, riding the course a couple times until I get to know the lines to take. I'll probably get to the starting line after everybody else has lined up because I'll have spent a lot of time getting coffeed and sugared up. I'll probably still be able to squeeze in the front because people know me from my blog.

At the gun, I'll have a good start. I like to start fast.

The race is a blur, partly because I will be going pretty hard, but mostly because it hasn't happened yet. I will call on my power animal, the donkey (a trick I've picked up over the years).

At the finish, the race will be over.

Tune in for another exciting report next weekend.

By popular request...

2005-10-15T11:33:00.000-07:00

Givin' er

Interview two

2005-10-14T15:06:00.000-07:00

In part two of our two part interview series, Too Vanilla For You talks to Oregon BAR (Best Asian Rider) Eric Tsai.

Too Vanilla For You: So how do you know Shannon?
Eric Tsai: For every elite athlete, there's someone behind the scenes, someone supporting the athlete, giving him encouragement when he's down, someone to push that athlete to his limits. I guess you could say I'm in charge of finding that person for Shannon.

TVFY: Don't you work with him?
ET: Yes, that too.

TVFY: Why should anybody bother to read this interview with you?
ET: I know what it's like to personally know Shannon.

TVFY: What's your favorite story about Shannon?
ET: One time he caught a shoplifter with three cycling jerseys down his pants, including the hangers. Another time he caught a woman with some Burley jackets stuffed in her mumu, then chased them out the store and they backed their car into a telephone pole. He likes to tell a story about how he once accidently ate mouse poop.

TVFY: Can you eat more or can Shannon eat more?
ET: Shannon can eat more without getting fat.

TVFY: Are you really Oregon's best asian rider?
ET: Define "asian". Is this interview over yet?

TVFY: Yes.

Thanks for your time, Eric

Work, a redux

2005-10-14T11:43:00.000-07:00

11:44 a.m. Made it to work, safe and sound.

Work

2005-10-14T10:27:00.000-07:00

Today I think I'll go into work at noon instead of 11.

Coach

2005-10-13T17:19:00.000-07:00

A lucky few have the honor of calling Shannon Skerritt coach. Here, we take an in-depth look at singlespeeder Matt Cardinal's weeklong training run-in to the Veloshop race this Sunday. Matt has been working as Shannon's personal mechanic in exchange for the training advice.

Sunday-25 mile cyclocross ride through Forest Park
Monday-Easy day. Commute to work.
Tuesday-Easy day. Commute to work.
Wednesday-Easy day. Commute to work.
Thursday-Easy day. Commute to work. Forget to go to the Sellwood cyclocross practice.
Friday-Easy day. Commute to work.
Saturday-Easy day. Commute to work.
Sunday-No work. Race instead.

Things we can learn from this program:
-a lot of rest is important
-commuting is a great way to get miles on your bike

See? It's just that easy to be fast.

Too Vanilla For You's first interview

2005-10-13T14:49:00.000-07:00

In this post, Too Vanilla For You interviews a co-worker, one Elizabeth Worley.

Too Vanilla For You: Soooo...you like dudes?
Elizabeth Worley: I do. Very much.

TVFY: So Shannon broke both his elbows last year. Have you broken two of anything?
EW: I've broken two of my forearm bones-bike riding-bmxing, to be specific.

TVFY: At the same time?
EW: Yes. Snap. Two at once. And then again. Twice. 6 months later.

TVFY: Bike riding again?
EW: Roller skating.

TVFY: Do you think you get asked more about your broken forearms or does Shannon get asked more about his broken elbows?
EW: Um...me about my broken forearms because I have better scars. Do you know what Shannon's blog should be called? "Are you ready to get famous".

TVFY: Hey-I'm asking the questions here. What do you think are Shannon's favorite things about you?
EW: My hoop earrings. I think that's all.

TVFY: And your favorite things about Shannon?
EW: Um...he delivers coffee to me. Sometimes. He brings me coffee. Sometimes.

Thanks for your time, Elizabeth.